Wednesday, May 23, 2012

EVERYONE (still) loves Lucy!

So I told you yesterday that EVERYONE loves Lucy and if you didn't complete your assignment of clicking, it is OKAY.  Lucy was kind enough to visit--at least on here--today and you will be happy she did. I don't know if you remember my post about leaving Tom, but you should read it now if you don't.

Okay--you're done, right?  'cause I don't want the whole class to have to keep waiting for you to complete the assignment you were supposed to finish WEEKS ago.  This isn't even fun when it's fake, is it? No one likes to be scolded or nagged--even IF and WHEN they are slacking. Sorry. The thing is, I claimed yesterday that Lucy and I share a brain--half the time I read what she writes and forget that she wrote it--I think I am reading my own words--only I laugh so much more when they come out of HER brain! You will see...if I ever stop TALKING...
Thanks to The Suburban Jungle for creating the perfect ecard for today and to Why don't you go back to your  home on  Whore Island for sharing it with the rest of us.  



Recently, I have come to accept the fact that I am a technical moron and that soon my 4-year 
old will be able to school me on things I didn't even know our computer, phones, camera, or iPad 
were capable of. He can't read yet and he already knows how to use the Wii better than me. (That rhymed.)
I still can't wrap my brain around how a radio plays music or how we can hear each other on our phones. 
It's magical to me, and I just don't get it. You can talk to me about wires and signals and shit, and I
will nod my head with a twinkle of understanding in my eyes, but it never goes beyond that. I can (sometimes) 
recite the words about how it works, but I JUST DON'T GET IT.

    I suppose a lot of people don't understand how things work, but at least most of them know how
to use their gizmos. I still only know the basics about my DVR, Microsoft Office, the Internet, my cell 
phone, iPhoto, and other such things. As soon as I figure out the most recent (and unnecessary) 
changes facebook has made, they smack me in the face with new ones. I recently joined twitter and have 
absolutely no idea how to use it. I think people are following me, and I may be following others, but I can't
be sure. What the hell do all those symbols mean? Is it weird to "tweet" in a complete sentence? I just 
don't know. Oh, and this blog is also about as fancy as it's going to get without help. Someone has actually
very kindly offered to help me do it up a bit via Skype,so if you notice any changes, she gets all the credit. 
But, first I'll have to conquer Skype. I've had a couple of conversations with my brother on it, but his face 
is always disappearing and he tries to send me stuff at the same time and I just get all confused. Maybe 
I'll figure it all out someday and maybe I won't.  The only thing I am sure about is that if and when 
I figure it out,  it will be purely by accident and I will instantly forget what I 
did to make it work.
I was talking to a friend about our blogs, and she said that she uses WordPress rather than 
Blogspot. (Let me just tell you how AWESOME her blog looks. I have total blog envy.) I had all sorts 
of ridiculous questions that a child should know the answers to like which ones are free and whatnot. 
Then she started talking about RSS feeds, and Google reader, and I felt like Homer Simpson when 
someone is talking to him about something he doesn't understand. I just hear theme music or the
voices of Charlie Brown's parents in my head. I told her I was a technical moron, and she told me to 
be nice to myself. (I thought that was really sweet.) After she had explained her jargon, she said it 
probably all sounded like "monkey nonsense" to me. And she was totally right. I am a chimp at my 
computer, randomly pushing buttons. I even clap for myself and hope for a treat if I do well. 

   I'm reminded of that scene from He's Just Not That Into You when Drew Barrymore was 
complaining about all the different ways people can try (and fail) to get in touch with you.
Landlines, cell phones, voicemail, texting, snail mail, e-mail, fax, Skype, facebook, twitter, 
aaaahhhh! It's just all too much. I'm with Drew; "I miss the days when you had one phone number 
and one answering machine and that one answering machine housed one cassette tape and that one 
cassette tape either had a message or it didn't." Life is too damn complicated and 
this instant gratification thing may be causing more trouble than it's worth. I LOVE getting 
letters or cards in the mail that someone wrote out and addressed with an actual pen three 
days ago. (I don't mind the computer-generated invitations or Christmas cards with address 
labels though because I know no one has time to sit down and write them out to all those people.) 
But, I do get all excited when Jim, the mailman, has  a nice handwritten treat for me from a far 
away friend. I also HATE the tricky letters and cards I get that have typed font made to look like 
handwriting. They are preying on my weakness, hoping that I will open their damn letter about lowering 
my mortgage interest rate because it looks like my name was handwritten on the envelope. Bastards. 

    I have noticed lately that a lot of my friends are trying to help me out with my lack of technical 
abilities. I was hoping that they knew more about all this stuff than I do because of their jobs, but 
apparently this is not the case. So, why do they know all this stuff and I don't? I kind of care, and I 
kind of don't. I mean, it would be fun and beneficial if I understood the full potential of our gadgets, 
but I get so easily overwhelmed by all of it. 

I had a friend over a couple nights ago and she was telling me about all the apps available for the
iPad and I was completely flabbergasted by the amount of things this little guy can do. There's an
app you can use to scan the barcode on ANYTHING to see who has it at the cheapest price. Whaaaat?
How freakin' cool is that? It can teach you to speak French, play the guitar, and fix your toilet.
We never have to leave the house again! There really IS "an app for that"!

 I know they have classes to demonstrate the full potential of your electronic toys, and they will teach 
you how to use them properly and efficiently. I just don't have the time, money or energy to take 
these classes. Plus, my toddler can just teach me everything I need to know for free in a year or two. 
In the meantime, this chimp will continue to learn little by little, mostly by accident. And while I am still 
in awe of everythingtechnological, I won't REALLY be impressed until there's a laundry app. Now THAT 
would be life-changing. 

Get on that, would ya', Apple?

SEE?! She IS funny and you ARE NOT unhappy. You really should listen 
to me more...

Find Lucy's blog (where she is posting MY work) HERE

Find and like Lucy on Facebook
Don't forget to follow Lucy's Twitter (that sounds vulgar for some reason...after all, she IS a married woman! I know...I need help...)


  1. Thanks, babe! :) And I see you slapped my ugly mug up there as some sort of retribution. ;)

    1. HAHAHA! Actually, I was hoping that people would look at it and say, "Wow--that tired mommy is a hottie..."
      Sorry about the spacing. I have spent the better part of today (WHAT?! It is ONE?!) on it and I don't know WHY it hates me! Hopefully this last time fixed it so that people can actually READ it...

    2. I had a similar problem with yours...had to stretch it out. :)


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