Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Where IS everyone?

I haven't broken 100 since I told you about my desire for a dog on October 27th. Can you BELIEVE that?! I came close (99) ONCE, but my number of readers has SERIOUSLY been slipping. I would offer incentives or giveaways, but I'm not sure who would want some unpaid hopsital bills or the handle off of my mini-van. It's not even my NICE mini-van (as evidenced by the missing handle)--it's the mini-van I got stuck with when the Corwin financial downfall happened. No bailouts here, my friends. We said goodbye to my Sienna (which I would not hesitate to give up a kidney to have it back) and hello to no car payment. I have to say, I do LOVE not having a car payment. I do NOT love sliding the door closed only to find that I am still holding onto the handle--and IT'S NOT holding onto the car door! I also do not love that EVERY TIME I drop my children off and follow the "drop off procedures," they assume that my door will shut itself. EVERY TIME. This wouldn't be so bad if, when I DID have a fancy-but-crazed-mother-vehicle, the opposite hadn't happened. EVERY TIME I would follow "loop procedures," the sweet woman who greeted my family and helped my children out of the car would slam the door shut like her life depended on it and then say, "Ooohhh" as if she were shocked. AGAIN. EVERY TIME. This happened in Montana of course, and the lack of shutting (where they ALSO look shocked EVERY TIME)is in New Jersey. Hmmm. I'm sure there is a study of some kind that someone far more motivated than I will EVER be could do on this. Perhaps I am the ONLY ONE in New Jersey who has to shut her door ON HER OWN. That must be right up there with pumping my own gas (which I wasn't ready to give up when I first moved here, but I have to say, I'm a BIG fan of not having (excuse me, not BEING ALLOWED) to do it myself anymore. We must NEVER leave Jersey...) On the contrary, Montanans (After over three years of deliberation, we came to the conclusion that "Montanans" is correct. I don't CARE if I'm wrong) must be happy to shut their own doors--no buttons needed. Interesting... So back to my initial gripe (the Sienna thing was CERTAIN to come out soon--it's been KILLING me!)--losing my readers. The GOOD news is, I have over 70 followers and about fifteen Network followers (that evidently MEANS something...I'm not sure what!), so I may actually break 100 FOLLOWERS soon. Which means absolutely nothing if no one wants to read what I write! For the twenty-seven of you who seem to read regularly (totally pulled THAT number out of my...actually, I took it from the number of people who read yesterday...), I thought I would present you with the opportunity to read MORE of my work ('cause you can't EVER get too much Nika! Wait...I think it's actually, "EVERYONE needs a Nika break...," but I'm implementing the NEW saying!) I signed up for yet another venture that I do not fully understand. I'm writing articles for examiner.com. I am now a "Toys and Games Examiner," and will hopefully get motivated enough to explore other areas of interest on examiner.com. If people READ my articles, they may actually LIKE me and then I could get more work and eventually I may even be able to publish those children's books I've been writing or that novel I will never write...well, you get it! SOOOO...if you ever want me to make some money so that I am able to offer you prizes and incentives, PLEEEAAAAASSSSEEE check out my article on examiner.com. Just type "This Holiday Season, Microsoft "Kinects" with gamers" into the search bar in the upper left corner then scroll down until you see the title (feel free to make fun of my title--I need to start cracking OTHERS up and stop cracking MYSELF up as it gets me NOWHERE! Oh--and THANK YOU for reading my words--even when they AREN'T funny!

3 comments:

  1. We have a van that the doors shut automatically, it is an old van, a 2002 Honda, but the other day someone was getting in our van and said "It is a new van with fancy things..." so, I think the moral of this story is, you need to move back to MT!

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  2. Martha, that was the same with my Sienna! I think it was an'02 as well and people were always so impressed with it (after they pushed away the old food and garbage that collected from front to back). I LIKE your moral! But then I would have to pump my own gas...! ;o)

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  3. I had this same experience with my car door being slammed in the school line. ROFL, too funny.

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