Friday, February 17, 2012

Tuesday: TOO MANY topics to title

     Well, the "meme" thing didn't quite work out as planned. I DO thank those of you who posted for taking the time to share your stories--they made me laugh and really made my day! I'm pretty sure that there is more to this meme thing than I know, only I am pretty sure that I am not going to do anything to fix it!
 WHY, you ask? Well, I spend A LOT of time on the computer. A LOT is actually an understatement (even in all CAPS). My schedule these days is:
1. Wake up--usually because of yelling or crying--OR because the kids are making noise (I don't think I will ever NOT do that joke. it's like I'm a ninety-year-old man!)
2. More yelling, screaming, crying.
3. Ask children nicely to get dressed and make sure their bags are ready.
4. Make breakfast (I don't know if you remember (or if you READ your assignment...), but it pretty much explains why I try to feed my children some fruit, yogurt, or whole grains before they go to school in the morning. I COULD have them eat the animal crackers that the school provides for breakfast (and I DO on REALLY bad mornings!), but I'm a mean mom.
5. Ask children nicely to get dressed and make sure their bags are ready. Ask children to brush their teeth.
6. Pack lunches (YES--I know it would be easier if I would only pack them at night, but it turns out it ISN'T that much easier and it is so very hard for me to get off of the sofa at night).
7. Ask children nicely to get dressed and make sure their bags are ready. Ask children to brush their teeth.
8. Gather books and papers and lunches to put in their bags that are not ready.
9. Throw dishes in the sink (or leave them on the table for days. It just depends...)
10. Scream at the top of my lungs because the children did not gather their things and put them in their bags and they did not brush their teeth.
11. Scream LOUDER because the children STILL don't have shoes on and their teeth are rotting out as I speak.
12. Zip up bags, force toothbrushes in each child's mouth (though I may let them rot--it just depends on the day) carry three bags and three screaming children out the door.
13. BARELY make it to school on time. USUALLY pull up to the building just as the doors are closing and locking.
14. Sign children in late.
15.Drop the youngest off at preschool.
16. Magic returns. Permanent scowl not quite as evident as earlier.
17. DRAG (YES, DRAG...I'm still working on the whole "mind-body" thing) my butt to the gym.
Okay--when all is said and done, I usually get home between 12 and 12:30 depending on how much I do at the gym--exercising AND talking.  My latest schedule has included eating an apple and a banana on the way to school (I was missing breakfast) and making and eating a salad when I get home (I was missing lunch, too). THEN...I get on the computer. SOME days I will clean first, but if I do that I tend to feel uninspired and have a more difficult time writing. All this takes some work--you understand.  Now, you may be asking yourself, WHY does it take three hours to write a blog? It doesn't. I usually sit down and hammer it out within minutes, but it takes a full hour to mess with any links I may want to add, an hour to review facebook posts, and about TWO hours to fight with CAPCHA codes to comment on my blog and other blogs I like. I posted on facebook the other day some examples of what my demonic computer sends to me: " The "CAPTCHA" codes I got today when commenting on blogs: ruinsu, sch A sap, and stu upD. I swear the little man in my computer is messing with me!" I've also gotten "U shtup," "UR hor," "grl dMB" and "smel LE fet." Maybe I'm reaching,but I don't think I am. My computer demon thinks I am a stupid, smelly whore who is a sap and should shut up. Oh--and something "ruins" me. Or I ruin something. Either way, there is "ruining" going on and THAT can't be good!
If I ever figure out how to do tabs, I am going to have one for my running log of CAPCHA codes. There are so many that I can't even THINK of now--some that just come right out and SAY nasty things (unlike these where you have to work at them a little. instead of "UR hor," they come out and say, "YOU are a Whore," or "Hey you stupid slut!" Nice. That just reminded me of a song that is evidently out now--something about a "stupid slut..." by some young performer my children idolize. My friend Berenice told me that her daughter LOVES this person, so I know it is just a matter of time for MY children. Considering my only experience with music is KidsBop and Barney (yes, Addison still LOVES that purple dinosaur and is NOT ashamed to admit it), I am glad she warned me. I cannot even IMAGINE what I would do if I heard one of my children say or sing, "...stupid whore..." We've come a long way since and evidently we landed on, "to curse."

They STILL act like it is a big deal when someone says, "stupid," and unless they HAVE heard that song, I'm pretty sure they have never heard the word, "whore," so I may be safe. Of course, three weeks in to kindergarten last year, I heard Ryan telling Brayden that she and her friend, Caitlyn, have a " walk" that they do on the playground. REALLY? A SEXY walk? Sadly, it was true. Last night friends of ours invited us over for a "family night" that they have every Monday. When the organized activities were done, SEVEN children (I seriously don't know HOW people do it--bless you, Duggar family and those like you! Anyway--sorry! I saw something shiny.)   Oh--so the girls were playing dress up and they came strutting into the kitchen wearing and OWNING high heels. I am pretty sure that I would have bit it--HARD-- in heels that high, but my daughter was strutting her stuff like it was her job. GREAT news. NOW I understand the "sexy walk" on the playground and it is QUITE disturbing!

It is now Friday and I wrote all of this on Tuesday. I explained that the actual WRITING of the blog usually only takes minutes and that is true. The problem is, on some days I am sleep-typing. Today could end up being one of those days and Tuesday was DEFINITELY a sleep-typing day. On most sleep-typing days, I peck away at the keys, finish in minutes and post before I think twice about what I've written (and hope it wasn't something horribly done or in poor taste). I try to NEVER look at those posts again. EVER. The problem with this post is that I actually DID fall asleep while typing it. LUCKILY I  nodded off enough to jerk myself awake, because I promised to spend the morning in my daughter's classroom and the afternoon in my son's. I immediately exited the program and rushed off to help out with the crazy Valentine's Day happenings in their classrooms. I also volunteer when it ISN'T a crazy classroom day and those days are SO MUCH BETTER, but  I  realize that my services are more needed on the crazy days. It KILLS me because the principal was OBSERVING teachers on Valentine's Day. I remember my own principals when I was teaching reminding us that EVERY day is a teaching day. I don't care WHERE you are, or WHO celebrates or not--a classroom full of twenty-five PLUS elementary school-aged children  is going to be OUT OF HAND on Valentine's Day. Add to it the fact that they chose to  make Valentine's week, conference week as well (which means they get out an hour and a half earlier)...what a nightmare.  These are things that annoyed me as a teacher and that annoy me even more as a parent. Setting someone up to fail is not something I like to witness--even when I'm in sleep-typing/walking/volunteering mode.

WHY am I telling you all of this? Because it is now FRIDAY and I never posted this. Only NOW I am looking at it again (though I only skimmed it because it is boring enough to send me RIGHT back into sleep-typing mode) and wondering if I should just quit while I'm ahead and post it before it gets worse. This was GOING to be a Valentine's Day post--I'm not sure what it ended up as, but I DO want to mention that I got a pretty good V-Day gift. My husband came home with Bang Bang shrimp from Bonefish Grill (which we haven't had in YEARS because we lived in MonFREAKINtana (see to see how much I truly LOVE MonFREAKINtana) and the one here is about forty minutes from us) ( which tells me that--EGADS--he actually READS my blog!  WHAT a GREAT present! After THIS particular post, he MAY be the only one left who does...


  1. OMG! Your school mornings are mine!! To the T! Then I feel just awful leaving my kids off at school in screaming mode. Rotten way to start my day! ! Love your honesty and transparency. Just have to follow! Visiting from milkshake weekend hop.

    1. I am so sorry that you are experiencing it, too! That awful feeling when they leave after a morning of lunacy...uggh! There really is nothing worse. It HAS to get better, right?!

  2. I remember those days! Oh don't get me wrong it's still hell in the mornings its that I can no longer drag them their TEENAGERS! I love this blog and have followed you everywhere! I'm Natalie from

    1. So they don't grant you a reprieve during the teen years if they are particularly horrible in their younger school-age days? Because THAT is what I keep telling myself to make it through each day! Thanks for following--I followed you back and loved your blog!

  3. OMG I'm exhausted just reading this (and can also relate)! My biggest problem is getting the kid dressed. She always wants "2 minutes" to watch cartoons (ugh). Then she never wants to wear what I have picked out for her. She has an opinion on EVERYTHING. I literally have to plan an extra 1/2 hour to my day just to make sure we're only 5 minutes late to school (no matter what I do this always seems to happen). Fingers crossed that one of these days it gets better for both of us!


    P.S. Thanks for stopping by and linking up to the GtKY blog hop! :)

    1. most of my material comes from our ridiculous mornings and your daughter sounds A LOT like mine! I tried to bribe them with television, but then we are even LATER! These are three or four of my earlier blogs on the topic (if you are interested. It HAS to get better, right?! I'm glad you followed back--I look forward to commiserating with you!

  4. My girls are 7 and 3 and one on the way... GOD HELP ME!

    1. HA! I know what you mean, but yYou are gonna be great--it IS madness, but as much as I complain (and I DO love to complain) I wouldn't trade it for anything (though there were MANY days when I would have traded all three for three solid hours of sleep. You got me on a good day!) and contrary to what people will tell you, it DOES get easier. Don't get me wrong--they get mouthier and less sweet, but it isn't as physically burdensome or "foggy" once they are ALL over four, so HANG IN THERE! The good news is, your other two are at the perfect ages to help you with the new baby, right?! And any time you want to "chat" (or if you want to feel better about yourself) I am always here hoping that someone will visit me! I hope you are feeling well--there was nothing worse for me than feeling crummy and pregnant and having to chase around the other two! I was also terrified of being outnumbered (with good reason), but I swear the last one came along to save the other two from my madness! She makes me laugh or smile when I want to throw things! Thanks for visiting--I hope to hear how you are doing! :o)

  5. I loved your post on feeding your children. My kids are homeschooled and my daughter was in shock reading the school lunch menu in the paper the other day. Good for you for going against the grain. I look up to you school mom's, it is hard work to get them to and from school. I would surely fail!

    1. I go back and forth with what would be harder--I have to admit that it is easier on the days when we don't HAVE to be anywhere, but I am not sure how much teaching and learning would be happening if I homeschooled! I have many friends who have been (and still are) successful at it, but I couldn't even teach my son to tie his shoes! Evidently he practiced in the womb because whenever I tried to teach him he would push me aside and say, "I KNOOOOOOWWWWWWW--I've GOT it...I KNOOOOOOWWWWW" and THAT was too much for me! Now if YOU could homeschool MY kids...THAT is something I would LOVE to sign up for--SOON!

  6. Yep, my mornings are just like this. Life was a little easier when I could kick them out the door to the bus stop. Now I have to take them to and pick them up from school and every morning is a nightmare.

    It does get a little easier when they're teens - depending on the teen. I never could get my oldest out of bed to go to school, but the next two do a fine job of getting up and making it to school every day without any help from me - so hang in there!

    Spilled Milkshake

  7. Christina, I am honestly hoping that their teen years will be a breeze since they are clearly killing me now! I think it is just the fact that we NEED to be somewhere. The last few days with them home have been [pretty much] fight-free, but the MINUTE I expect something from them or present them with a sense of urgency, they are back. THANK YOU for giving me hope for the future--and for giving me a reason to send them on the bus!

  8. I LOVED this post!! I can seriously identify. I have almost 9 year old twins, and an unco-operative husband, so my mornings sound like yours! Having recently gone back to full time work - I have the added challenge of trying to make myself look moderately presentable before shoving everyone out the door and off to school - admittedly I settle for barely presentable on most days! Will definitely follow your blog.


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