With a solid two hours, I would be appalled at this post. Luckily, my children won't even give me ONE...
I hate them. I do. Not because they don't listen to me. Not because they are nasty to me.Not because if they heard me say hate they would go on for hours about the "bad word" I said and give me a lecture about the fact that "we don't SAY hate." Not even because they ruined my body. I hate them because I LOVE sleep. And with every one of them I lost even more sleep. I haven't slept--REALLY slept--since 2003.
I know what you're thinking--"I can't BELIEVE she would EVER say that she hates her children! What a HORRIBLE mother!" Whatever. You know that you would trade your youngest for seven uninterrupted hours without batting an eyelash--you just won't admit it. There are people I have had FULL conversations with in the last eight years that I don't even REMEMBER. The conversation, the PERSON, LEAVING the house...it's all a fog. Granted, I've had some health issues, but don't tell me that a lot of those weren't exacerbated by the fact that I had little to no sleep. When I went undiagnosed for years I would say, "They are probably thinking, 'Yeah--of course she looks and feels like garbage--she has THREE kids!'" Recently I saw a comic on facebook with a woman (looking (sadly) a lot like me sitting on an examination table. The doctor walks in and says, "You've been diagnosed with having children..." I'm pretty sure that no one laughed (or cried!) as hard as I did at THAT one! The thing is, three isn't even that many. People have more, "SEVENTEEN and counting..." (though now I think it's NINETEEN and counting! What do I know? It's probably thirty-three and counting at this point--what does SHE care? She looks well rested. BECAUSE HER CHILDREN ARE RAISING HER CHILDREN...I hate when I judge. I'm just---so---TIRED.)
It goes both ways, you know. They hate me, too. If they didn't, would they take turns keeping me up all night? They are almost 5, 6, and 7. There is NO reason why they shouldn't be able to sleep--THROUGH THE NIGHT. IN THEIR OWN BEDS. For AT LEAST seven hours (though I would be HAPPY with five). THEY don't appear to be exhausted. I swear it's a conspiracy. And on the off chance that they DO sleep (which I REALLY don't REMEMBER when THAT was...), my husband chimes in with his incessant snoring. See...? They ALL hate me.
I am a former teacher/ SAHM of three who needed to do SOMETHING so that we would all come out of this alive and unscathed. I don't really have a blogging philosophy, though I have many THEORIES...for example, "In THEORY, it would be a great idea to get off of the computer and wash a dish..." yet here I sit. I have a THEORY that my musings may help people to see that they are not alone--or maybe they will just make ME realize that I AM alone...nah--I'm sticking with my first one. Better than therapy, I tell you!