Disposable computers at our house

There are so many things for me to discuss today, but I am on borrowed time. BECAUSE I'm on borrowed time, I am going to go completely blank and have nothing to say--until this computer boots me that is. Stupid Murphy and his laws...

So my ridiculously cheap conveniently inexpensive laptop that we bought last year to replace the other ridiculously cheap conveniently inexpensive laptop has not allowed us to use the wireless feature in months. We finally had to break down and bing it in to have the Geek Squad look at it. After waiting in line for no fewer than hirty-five minutes (in which time three people told me that someone would be with me in a few minutes. Not a "sec--" a few minutes. The way they said it indicated that even they didn't think that it would happen in a timely manner. They were right.

Of course, when they finally did honor my turn (evidently I look like I will be more trouble than an eighty-year-old man with a Kindle issue and a fifty-year-old woman with a camera. Noted.), the seven-year-old waiting on me was very nice (if not condescending) and even tried to hide the fact that he was rolling his eyes at my blatant ignorance of anything and everything techy. (It's a word. Now.) He warned me that if I send the computer off without backing up everything that is on it, I run the risk of losing everything. For one hundred dollars, they could back everything up FOR me. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. The computer was barely over TWO hundred--why on earth would I pay a hundred dollars for them to do something that I can do myself? What's that now? Oh--because I DIDN'T do it myself?! Yeah, THAT'S a good reason, but I still didn't do it. Now stupid Murphy and his stupid laws are going to visit I'm sure, but at least his visits aren't a surprise anymore.

Let's talk for a minute about disposable computers. We seem to be in the market for disposable computers. I cannot even COUNT how many different computers we have had since we first got married (almost THIRTEEN years ago. Yes, they had computers then...).In fact, when we moved from Virginia to Montana, we gave away a Commodore and an APPLE (No--not an I-anything and not even a MACINTOSH--an APPLE computer and an INK-JET printer. You remember that printer from when you were in your mother's womb, right? It sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard every time the ink hit the paper. I am hearing it in my head right now, yet I cannot begin to describe the sound on paper. We also had DELL that was our first great bargain (the Commodore and Apple were given to us) computer and lasted MAYBE two years.

I remember the five-year-old who waited on me at Circuit City that last time I went to Circuit City. We were also havng trouble with our camcorder. Yes--CAMCORDER. It had little DVDs and was "...the direction all video recorders were taking..." though after a year it was crap. When I asked him about both items, the toddler gave his best, "You are obviously an ancient idiot, so I'm going to say this slowly so that you'll understand..." look and told me , "That was last year's model--we don't even sell the PARTS to help you anymore."

Me: "So what do I do?"

Toddler: "Well, Ma'am, there's nothing you can do."

Me: "So what do I do?"

Toddler: "Ummm...buy a new camera?"

Me: "So let me get this straight...you talk my husband into buying a THOUSAND DOLLAR camera that only works for a YEAR?"

Toddler: "Well, technology is always changing and upgrading so whatever you buy now will be obsolete in a few months..."

Me: "Do you even KNOW what that means? You're nine..."

Anyway, he did nothing to help me with that OR the computer, and we gave all of our business to Best Buy.  ALL of our business...the three other things that we bought we got from Best Buy.

So last year (or was it two years ago? I don't know and you don't care!) we needed to get a new laptop--it COULD BE because someone let the children use the other one, but it was slightly broken from the start--missing a screw (like the rest of the family). When my husband ventured out to get one I told him that we should save and get a good one--instead of treating laptops and computers like disposable items. From all of the research I've done (drinking wine and surfing the net), people seem to be quite pleased with their Macs and they seem to last a LONG time. I understand that I would have to sell a kidney to get one, but at this point, it seems worth it. If you consider all the money we waste when we dispose of computers after a year or two...we could have had two Macs and an IPad by now!

My time is flashing on the screen, so whether I want to or not, I have to sign out. This is awesome. Really. I love having my time limited almost as much as I love driving across town to use the computer. Fun times. I guess I will "see" you whenever I have a chance to drive over here sans children again. What is your opinion on the whole computer debacle? Do you like yours? What do you like or dislike about it? 

Don't leave me blogless

I am so annoyed right now. Really, I am. FIRST of all, my computer (you remember--the crabby one who decided to shut down on me over the holidays and then DESERTED me (leaving me blogless--THAT sounds like a great idea for a song, doesn't it?! "...leaving me BLOG-GLESS, BLOG-GLESS..." Of course, my judgment  could be clouded by the fact that I have spent the last few weeks listening to a five and six-year-old duet of "...leaving me lOOOOOnly--OOOOOnly...'cuz you don't know a THIIIIING A-bout MEEUH...you don't know a THIIIIIING A-bout me..."which is SO MUCH BETTER than the alternative                             " (somethingsomethingsomething) BEER! (Somethingsomethingsomething SOMETHING. Something something yeah yeah), boys trytotouchmy junk, junk..." Clearly I need to heed the ratings of the music my children are rocking out to these days. I'm not sure that there is anything more disturbing than watching my sweet little beauties shaking their hips while talking about their "junk..." (Thanks Kesha) and having enough beer. Just working on this year's MOTY award...

Anyway, my computer "left me blogless..." it has a nice rhythm, no?) and facebookless and words with friendsless all last week and NOW it is being crabby AGAIN. The last few days it prevented me from commenting on other blogs (which I like to do to show my support to all of the great bloggers out there--I want to introduce them all to each other--like my facebookfriend party I mentioned in my earlier blogs. I think everyone would get along so well!  Except there may be a REASON we hide behind the computer...right...the COMPUTER. So today it won't even let me comment on MY OWN blog. GRRRR. I had about ELEVEN different stories I was going to tell today, but I am hung up on my rage (yes, I was going to say "...against the machine...," but I know how DORKY I would have to be to say that. And to say dorky.) toward the computer. NOW my battery is at 7% and I am without a plug! I'm not really WITHOUT a plug, it is just UPstairs and I am DOWNstairs and I just got back from the gym and I am listening to Addison read Red Hat, Blue Hat for the fifteenth time and I am SO okay with it as long as I don't have to move. I think this is a sign that I need to clean Saturday's dishes or dig through last week's laundry. Or take a nap...if the COMPUTER can take a nap, shouldn't I be allowed to?! Maybe we will BOTH wake up less crabby...

I'm DOING my BEST. THAT'S why it is SO VERY SAD...

I need to cover a few things today, so hang on--and try to follow. First--I TRIED to make paragraphs--I did. In FACT, when I initially type out my ramblingsdroning words, I always include paragraphs. And indentations. In FACT, the last post I wrote (Elves...) had about eight lines between each paragraph, yet when I viewed it on the blog--NOTHING. I swear--I am learning to LIKE paragraphs. I've used them since I posted http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/evidently-paragraphs-are-important.html in OCTOBER, yet you are unable to see that because they GO AWAY for some reason AFTER I hit "Publish." I need to take a class or something... (New paragraph) Yesterday I thought I would take it upon myself to insert paragraphs (AGAIN) into my work. Surely it was just a little problem that could be fixed with the click of the mouse. Yeah...about that. What took my dear friend at http://www.designherbrands.com/ a day to create, it took me ONE CLICK to destroy. You see, I have a similar relationship with computers as I did with my hair (back when it was salvageable and I actually TRIED to look good). Everything could be just fine, yet I feel the need to TOUCH it and BAM! I look like Yound Frankenstein. THAT'S what happened with the computer except it was FAR worse than any Young Frankenstein hairdo I have EVER had. The computer (like my thighs, hips and stomach) hates me and will not stop until it has defeated me. I don't think it got the memo about how EASY I am--I know what you are thinking and no--I DO NOT mean "EASY" like a drunk freshman college student with daddy issues. I MEAN easy like to DEFEAT (though I guess that is kind of what the other would mean, too...hmmm...). (New paragraph) For example, if I were being chased by a criminal or...well, ANYONE...I am pretty sure I would fall to the ground in the fetal position. I mean, I would think that if they were CHASING me, they must REALLY want whatever it is more than I would really want anything. EASY TO DEFEAT. Another example, If my son asks one-million-five-hundred-and-thirty-FOUR times for something, I'm gonna let him do it. Or have it. Drive the car at seven, put his sister in the dryer, drink vodka--WHATEVER. If my youngest asks me...well, ANYTHING in that squeaky-sweet-"you-are-the-best-mommy-EVER" voice and face,I will let her have/do it immediately. If my middle child metions that she is often forgotten about or even HINTS at having "middle-child-syndrome," whatever she wants is hers. E-A-S-Y. So WHY the computer INSISTS on going through such ELABORATE steps to bring me down is beyond me. LUCKILY, Melissa at http://www.designherbrands.com/ does NOT hate me--YET--and was willing to swoop down to fix the disaster that I created. She was even able to [somehow] post my AWARD. (New paragraph) Now for those PARAGRAPHS...

Let's talk Twitter...

Let's talk Twitter. Yet another thing I'm too old for that I swore I would NEVER do. The good news is, I am too dumb to actually "DO" it still. I signed up for it (and a MILLION other things) when I first started the blog in October. My friend Kate said I would love, love, LOVE it and it would be so great for my blog. My "blog" friend Lucy, (I say "blog-friend" since we haven't actually met in real life yet, which reminds me of my friend Chrissy who would refer to some of her childhood friends as "pool friends" because they only came around to hang out with her in the summer. When she was swimming. In her pool. In simpler terms, they used her for her pool and she called them on it. Awesome. Anyway, my "blog" friend, Lucy)ISN'T using me for my blog, I'm sure (though WHAT a treat it would be for her!) and would much rather use my pool than read my blog, I'm sure, but she IS encouraging me to become a twitterer. Or Tweeter. Twater? You really need to be careful with this one--it can REALLy go in the wrong direction. She is encouraging me in that SHE loves it and says it is more addicting than facebook (which is not necessarily a GOOD thing for ME!) and she couldn't believe I wasn't on it. But I WAS. ON it. Twitter, that is. I was ON it, though I never CHECKED it or twitted...tweeted...twa--you get it-anything except for seven initial tweets(?) telling the one or two people who even FOUND me, to read my blog.( I LOVE how bossy hiding behind the computer makes me!) And I'm pretty sure that if they DID read my blog, it had NOTHING to do with my tweeting. I'm sure if I learned to do it correctly, this Twitter thing could really work for me, but there are SO MANY THINGS I need to learn to do correctly and I am SO TIRED! Far too tired to LEARN things. It's all I can do to keep my eyes open while I am typing this (and forcing my children to watch the Carebears (Addison's pick since she was home first and for those who believe they are "too mature" for Care Bears, when choosing between Care Bears and homework, CARE BEARS WIN. Who knew?!). My brain is starting to look like my college dorm room. Or my HOUSE these days. SO. MUCH. STUFF. Most of it useless and taking up space or overshadowing the important "stuff" so that it can't shine. So how do I clean up my "stuff" in my brain when I can't even clean up the "stuff" in my house? Do I just throw everything out and start again? And how do I even DO that in my brain? Drugs? Alcohol? Drugs AND alcohol? Have another baby?! EGADS! I can't even type those words without feeling a wave of horror wash over me. This is weird for two reasons. 1. I had not one, but TWO hysterectomies--EVERYTHING is gone. If I were to get pregnant it would be more than "Immaculate" and would even make Mary wonder. and B. I really wouldn't mind having a baby at this point. I think that once you have three (who are now 5, 6 and 7) this close together, you are outnumbered anyway and your brain is shot, so what's the difference? Plus, if I had a baby NOW, I would MAYBE remember some of the "baby" time, unlike my other three who must have come out of the womb at the age of four since I don't even REMEMBER HAVING babies--only mouthy preschoolers and...well, THIS. Child one and child two shoving each other off of a chair in the supposed-to-be-dining-but-now-messy-art-room because the other five [chairs] just aren't working for either one of them. Really. They BOTH MUST have the ONE chair or die trying to get it. Or kill me trying to get it. Meanwhile, child number three is making like 1954 Mississippi with her poor Tianna doll left in the dust and the other princesses frolicking and dancing. Noted, so now she decided that I could have Tianna. And Cinderella. And Snow White. Basically, the dolls she could do without. So my youngest is a "Mean Girl" and my other two are just mean and I am tired, but going on about not having, but "acquiring" a baby somehow (because THAT is what I need! Not to mention the poor child! No wonder God said, "No more" and made me need a hysterectomy. Of course, I'm just like my children--I needed TWO to REALLY get it and I'm STILL talking about having babies--so obviously I DIDN'T get it! Now I see why my children don't learn...) and my son is now MAKING OUT WITH Tianna to show Addison how much HE loves her and Addison is yelling, "NOOOO--SDOP KISSIN' MY DOWLIES!" and the middle child is upstairs plotting my demise since I wouldn't let the fist throwing over the chair continue (mean mommy that I am) and I JUST want to be able to TWITTER sbout ALL of it. Or maybe I just want to be able to write about all of it without being interrupted fifty times to make Snow White and Cinderella curtsy (REALLY?!) to tell Brayden to get his mouth OFF of Tianna, to "encourage" Ryan to remove her claws from Brayden's neck and to remind Addie that she does not need to eat her toes as we will be having dinner soon. Tweet THAT my blog friends!