Tuesday: TOO MANY topics to title

     Well, the "meme" thing didn't quite work out as planned. I DO thank those of you who posted for taking the time to share your stories--they made me laugh and really made my day! I'm pretty sure that there is more to this meme thing than I know, only I am pretty sure that I am not going to do anything to fix it!
 
 WHY, you ask? Well, I spend A LOT of time on the computer. A LOT is actually an understatement (even in all CAPS). My schedule these days is:
1. Wake up--usually because of yelling or crying--OR because the kids are making noise (I don't think I will ever NOT do that joke. it's like I'm a ninety-year-old man!)
2. More yelling, screaming, crying.
3. Ask children nicely to get dressed and make sure their bags are ready.
4. Make breakfast (I don't know if you remember (or if you READ your assignment...)http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/healthy-i-think-not.html, but it pretty much explains why I try to feed my children some fruit, yogurt, or whole grains before they go to school in the morning. I COULD have them eat the animal crackers that the school provides for breakfast (and I DO on REALLY bad mornings!), but I'm a mean mom.
5. Ask children nicely to get dressed and make sure their bags are ready. Ask children to brush their teeth.
6. Pack lunches (YES--I know it would be easier if I would only pack them at night, but it turns out it ISN'T that much easier and it is so very hard for me to get off of the sofa at night).
7. Ask children nicely to get dressed and make sure their bags are ready. Ask children to brush their teeth.
8. Gather books and papers and lunches to put in their bags that are not ready.
9. Throw dishes in the sink (or leave them on the table for days. It just depends...)
10. Scream at the top of my lungs because the children did not gather their things and put them in their bags and they did not brush their teeth.
11. Scream LOUDER because the children STILL don't have shoes on and their teeth are rotting out as I speak.
12. Zip up bags, force toothbrushes in each child's mouth (though I may let them rot--it just depends on the day) carry three bags and three screaming children out the door.
13. BARELY make it to school on time. USUALLY pull up to the building just as the doors are closing and locking.
14. Sign children in late.
15.Drop the youngest off at preschool.
16. Magic returns. Permanent scowl not quite as evident as earlier.
17. DRAG (YES, DRAG...I'm still working on the whole "mind-body" thing) my butt to the gym.
   
Okay--when all is said and done, I usually get home between 12 and 12:30 depending on how much I do at the gym--exercising AND talking.  My latest schedule has included eating an apple and a banana on the way to school (I was missing breakfast) and making and eating a salad when I get home (I was missing lunch, too). THEN...I get on the computer. SOME days I will clean first, but if I do that I tend to feel uninspired and have a more difficult time writing. All this takes some work--you understand.  Now, you may be asking yourself, WHY does it take three hours to write a blog? It doesn't. I usually sit down and hammer it out within minutes, but it takes a full hour to mess with any links I may want to add, an hour to review facebook posts, and about TWO hours to fight with CAPCHA codes to comment on my blog and other blogs I like. I posted on facebook the other day some examples of what my demonic computer sends to me: " The "CAPTCHA" codes I got today when commenting on blogs: ruinsu, sch A sap, and stu upD. I swear the little man in my computer is messing with me!" I've also gotten "U shtup," "UR hor," "grl dMB" and "smel LE fet." Maybe I'm reaching,but I don't think I am. My computer demon thinks I am a stupid, smelly whore who is a sap and should shut up. Oh--and something "ruins" me. Or I ruin something. Either way, there is "ruining" going on and THAT can't be good!
If I ever figure out how to do tabs, I am going to have one for my running log of CAPCHA codes. There are so many that I can't even THINK of now--some that just come right out and SAY nasty things (unlike these where you have to work at them a little. instead of "UR hor," they come out and say, "YOU are a Whore," or "Hey you stupid slut!" Nice. That just reminded me of a song that is evidently out now--something about a "stupid slut..." by some young performer my children idolize. My friend Berenice told me that her daughter LOVES this person, so I know it is just a matter of time for MY children. Considering my only experience with music is KidsBop and Barney (yes, Addison still LOVES that purple dinosaur and is NOT ashamed to admit it), I am glad she warned me. I cannot even IMAGINE what I would do if I heard one of my children say or sing, "...stupid whore..." We've come a long way since http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/to-curse-or-not-to-curse.html and evidently we landed on, "to curse."

They STILL act like it is a big deal when someone says, "stupid," and unless they HAVE heard that song, I'm pretty sure they have never heard the word, "whore," so I may be safe. Of course, three weeks in to kindergarten last year, I heard Ryan telling Brayden that she and her friend, Caitlyn, have a "...sexy walk" that they do on the playground. REALLY? A SEXY walk? Sadly, it was true. Last night friends of ours invited us over for a "family night" that they have every Monday. When the organized activities were done, SEVEN children (I seriously don't know HOW people do it--bless you, Duggar family and those like you! Anyway--sorry! I saw something shiny.)   Oh--so the girls were playing dress up and they came strutting into the kitchen wearing and OWNING high heels. I am pretty sure that I would have bit it--HARD-- in heels that high, but my daughter was strutting her stuff like it was her job. GREAT news. NOW I understand the "sexy walk" on the playground and it is QUITE disturbing!

It is now Friday and I wrote all of this on Tuesday. I explained that the actual WRITING of the blog usually only takes minutes and that is true. The problem is, on some days I am sleep-typing. Today could end up being one of those days and Tuesday was DEFINITELY a sleep-typing day. On most sleep-typing days, I peck away at the keys, finish in minutes and post before I think twice about what I've written (and hope it wasn't something horribly done or in poor taste). I try to NEVER look at those posts again. EVER. The problem with this post is that I actually DID fall asleep while typing it. LUCKILY I  nodded off enough to jerk myself awake, because I promised to spend the morning in my daughter's classroom and the afternoon in my son's. I immediately exited the program and rushed off to help out with the crazy Valentine's Day happenings in their classrooms. I also volunteer when it ISN'T a crazy classroom day and those days are SO MUCH BETTER, but  I  realize that my services are more needed on the crazy days. It KILLS me because the principal was OBSERVING teachers on Valentine's Day. I remember my own principals when I was teaching reminding us that EVERY day is a teaching day. I don't care WHERE you are, or WHO celebrates or not--a classroom full of twenty-five PLUS elementary school-aged children  is going to be OUT OF HAND on Valentine's Day. Add to it the fact that they chose to  make Valentine's week, conference week as well (which means they get out an hour and a half earlier)...what a nightmare.  These are things that annoyed me as a teacher and that annoy me even more as a parent. Setting someone up to fail is not something I like to witness--even when I'm in sleep-typing/walking/volunteering mode.

WHY am I telling you all of this? Because it is now FRIDAY and I never posted this. Only NOW I am looking at it again (though I only skimmed it because it is boring enough to send me RIGHT back into sleep-typing mode) and wondering if I should just quit while I'm ahead and post it before it gets worse. This was GOING to be a Valentine's Day post--I'm not sure what it ended up as, but I DO want to mention that I got a pretty good V-Day gift. My husband came home with Bang Bang shrimp from Bonefish Grill (which we haven't had in YEARS because we lived in MonFREAKINtana (see http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/hundred-dead-bodies-simply-arent-enough.html to see how much I truly LOVE MonFREAKINtana) and the one here is about forty minutes from us) (http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2012/02/according-to-my-plan-oh-great-now-i.html) which tells me that--EGADS--he actually READS my blog!  WHAT a GREAT present! After THIS particular post, he MAY be the only one left who does...

I love how every blog I try to make a comment on tries to "prove" that I am human. Evidently, if I am able to type words like "sIttonniT" and "Do  OmeD," I am a living and breathing being. Who knew? I just cannot help but be insulted by some of the things it asks me to type. I swear, one time I typed THREE different times and the words were; "Lo  o    S   E R," (though it was spread out over the page and had random lines in it) "so R    r E     E    E" and  "gOT    2   gv U    p." Seriously?!

I want to see the little man who is behind these "words" to find out HIS story. In this particular case (there are SO many--I usually look around the room when it happens to see if I am being video taped. Because if I WERE being videotaped, I would suddenly be able to SEE the perpetrator by simply looking around the room...), the computer seemed to become irate when I was too incompetent to type the correct words and/or symbols.  It's even WORSE to hear the audio version of whatever it is the strange little man wants you to type. It is seriously like something out of a horror movie. C-R-E-E-P-Y!

Anyway, on this particular day, instead of letting me comment after the third mishap, it asked me to type in numbers. Specifically, it asked me to ADD numbers. Now, we all know that I am NOT the brightest bulb, but I have not lost the ability to do simple addition--ESPECIALLY when I have a calculator. SO I DEFINITELY got the answers right. Which is why it was strange that I got the message, "Sorry, but we cannot confirm that you are human" THREE TIMES. Maybe the little man thought that there was no way ANY human would go to THAT much trouble to type in, 'Great blog--thanks for following me!" but he CLEARLY has not met THIS new blogger. IT'S ON, strange little man behind the computer. WE'LL SEE who is or is not human once and for all. (I'm not sure what my plan is here, but I wanted to scare him the way he has been scaring me. I'm afraid it was more like the time Ross tried to act tough on Friends--HILARIOUS to think that  he THOUGHT he could be tough, and only scary because he truly believed he WAS tough...either way, it IS on...)

Staying "Connected"

Facebook is TOTALLY underrated. People will readily pay hundreds--even thousands of dollars on therapy and not think anything of it--I know, because I've been there--yet the therapists I've encountered haven't really done much for me. ONE nice comment or word of inspiration from a great friend (or sometimes a friend-of-a-friend--or even an acquaintance!) can do what hours of therapy can not--give me a feeling of worth. A feeling like I'm not alone in the world--like I'm "connected" in some way with another human being. My "daily words of affirmation" come when I see the little red box light up in the top left corner of my computer screen. I anxiously click on it in hopes that SOMEONE has commented on SOMETHING. Maybe I shouldn't discount therapy just yet...

 I've noticed several things since my relationship with facebook began. 1. I DO have an addictive personality. 2. I have HILARIOUS friends (who also have HILARIOUS friends). 3. I know some pretty amazing and inspirational people. 4. My husband hates facebook.

Now the "addiction" to facebook is being shared with my "addiction" to blogging and I think that the "addiction" is not really to those things at all. I'm addicted to being validated. I'm addicted to "hearing" nice things about myself and funny things about the world. I'm married to a man and have three small children, hence there isn't a lot of communicating or validating going on around here. I turn to my facebook "friends" to provide me with what I need emotionally in life. That sounds so sad, doesn't it? P-R-E-T-T-Y pathetic. But how needy would I be if I expected the people around me to constantly comment, compliment and validate me? It's what we as humans truly want, but it's exhausting to do--at least in person (Can you imagine walking around saying, "I like that" and coming up with something inspirational to say to a person ALL day?!). I know--I've tried.

I'm a "validator" and a "complimenter." I'm not bragging--there are many things I'm not (a housekeeper or organizer for instance...a mathemetician or accountant...a super model or centerfold...you get it), but I began working with children when I was a teenager and from that I learned that people feel good when they are complimented and validated and I like to make other people feel good about themselves. For eleven years, I would begin any...disagreement...in my relationship with, "You are so great at..."cleaning the kitchen, folding laundry, playing with the kids..." and I really appreciate you, but..." Unfortunately, in the eleven years, my husband only hears the"...BUT..." which really makes me into kind of a jerk. Facebook lets me not be the jerk and I REALLY like that. BUT...it really became an issue in my relationship (which I WILL NOT get into again. I PROMISE!).

We moved to Kalispell Montana before I was ever on facebook.  I don't know if you know this or not, but Montana is on the OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET!  I even called it MonFREAKINtana before we got there (and even when we WERE there at first--until my four-year-old son told my mother how much he loved "MonFREAKIN'tana." Then I stopped.).  For several months it was me, my children (who were 4,3, and 2 at the time) and my [cranky and exhausted] husband.  No one else. I am a talker (SURPRISE!) and although I had the phone (you KNOW how great small children are when you are on the phone...), I had no other adult contact...EVER, because my husband was quietly enduring whatever it is that men endure and was not letting me in on ANY of his secrets.

I finally joined TWO mom's groups (I tried to join a third, but it was thirty minutes away and I felt guilty for joining three!), which helped IMMENSELY ( I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS!), but at the beginning I still only had superficial relationships. On February 14, I decided to join facebook. My friend, Chrissy talked me through it (and she and her husband were my first "friends") and I couldn't stop! It felt weird only having two friends--like sitting in thehigh school cafeteria alone--and I couldn't help but get the feeling I had when I moved to Lockport in the second grade or Williamsville in the tenth--what if I ask them to be my friend and they say..."NO!"?! Chrissy assured me that this feeling would go away soon and that I would be surprised at how many people would say "yes" and then, would even ask ME to be THEIR friend! (I'm SUCH a geek--I know!) I spent all day thinking about facebook and how many "friends" I would have. We went out to eat for Valentine's Day--our first date in months (I dropped my kids off at a "drop-in" child care facility--a few moms snubbed their noses at that, yet weren't offering to watch my kids...don't get me started on WHY we need to SUPPORT each other in ALL that we do. That's a topic for another day!) and my husband looked over at me and said, "You're thinking about facebook right now, aren't you?" For the first time, I was the one who was somewhere else, and I couldn't stop! We watched a video when we got home and my thoughts were on facebook, which I immediately logged onto when the credits were rolling. I was on until the wee hours of the morning and it was FANTASTIC! Chrissy and her husband "commented" that I had more friends in one day then they had in four months. Chrissy wrote, "Wow--you've been busy!" and she wasn't kidding. I finally felt "connected" with other human beings and I was LOVING it! I even made a secret deal with myself (I do that...it's not weird...) to write a funny status each day. I would "write" them in bed at night. I would "write" them in the shower (on the off chance I was ABLE to shower!) and I would "write" them while driving. I cracked myself up, though I'm not sure if I was "cracking up" anyone else! All I cared about was getting it out there and (hopefully) seeing the little red box light up in the corner!

The thing is, I have made a lot of amazing friends through the years, but I am HORRIBLE at keeping in touch. I sit up at night and think, "Oh my goodness--I really need to call her--it has been so long!" or "Wow--I forgot about him--I wonder what he is up to these days..." and "I really wonder what my students will end up doing with their lives..." and would feel sad about the people I would probably never talk to again. Enter facebook. I still remember people and try to "find" them and "friend" them, but it was amazing to see how many people "found" me. Now I have "chats" with people I haven't seen since middle school. I reunite with distant cousins and make friends with my friends' friends. I am able to see former students and their babies (not the best perk--I can't believe I'm THAT old!)--NOT because they were having them in high school, but because they found me (or I found them!) on facebook after they were grown and married. I often think that I want to have a facebook reunion (or would it just be...union?!) and get all of my fb "friends" together to meet. I have maybe 500 friends and I would say at least 450 are people I genuinely would love to hang out with on a regular basis. These are good (and funny!) (and brilliant!) people who have so much to offer the world--not just facebook--and I often think about "fixing them up" with each other because I know how well  their personalities would mesh. I feel great after I've "chatted" with all of them. Of course, then there is the guilt over not staying in touch on facebook...that's what happens when your raised in an Italian Catholic family...guilt just becomes part of who you are.

These days I try not to be on facebook for too long--I don't look at ALL the updates (though some days I try to), however I want to stay connected. I feel sad if someone posted something funny or news about their family and I didn't see it. I'm not so much concerned about what they ate for dinner (unless it's something I MUST make!) or if they just got back from the store (unless it's a store I MUST go to), but my friends use those posts sparingly. They, like me, are in it to inspire or humor. And what could be wrong with wanting to stay connected to THAT?!