If you need any Halloween costumes...

http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-love-to-get-deal.html

Carpe...well--just CARPE!

My friends Debbie and Kelly each  posted the same article on facebook that I LOVED--let's be honest--MOST things I read on facebook I LOVE! Generally speaking, my friends are FUNNY and have witty, thoughtful and insightful things to say.  This particular article was written by  mom blogger, Glennon Melton for The Huffington Post and she talked about the whole "Carpe Diem" (live for the day) thing. Being a fan of The Dead Poet's Society and a recovering English teacher, I have fallen prey to the "Carpe Diem" mentality at many junctures in my life, yet after having my babies, the mom guilt goes into fast forward mode whenever a well-meaning stranger (or nosy family member) reminds ME to cherish every moment when I clearly AM NOT enjoying ANY moment.


In the article, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html?view=screen&ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false, Glennon Melton hilariously captures the feelings of exasperation when people point out--usually during the most trying times as a parent--that you are going to "...miss this one day..." Melton uses humor to encompass the feelings parents have when others push this mentality on them. She states:


I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.


I so agree with her and laugh to think of all of the defensive parents getting, "...paranoid and panicky...) when strangers (even if the stranger is Robin Williams) remind them how to live. I am DEFINITELY one of those parents (see http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/12/crazy-russian-biker-mobster-dude.html)--we tend to think that every time we get unsolicited advice from strangers it is because we suck as much as we think we do.  

I try to cut people off now before they can tell me about WHAT I am going to miss:


Stranger: "Ohhhh--you--"
Me: "I KNOW--I am SO going to miss the feeling of wanting to strangle them some day! Of course, NOW I am missing the one time they actually BEHAVED at the store...tee hee..." or "I keep trying to remind myself that   before I know it, I will be longing for the days when my children drove me crazy at Target (isn't it ALWAYS Target?!), but right now I just.Want. It. To. Stop."


Melton compares child rearing to climbing Everest and speaks of  the fact that well meaning strangers don't make a habit of yelling "ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT..." and "DON'T FORGET TO CARPE DIEM..." to other people at THEIR jobs. She reminds us that parenting is hard enough without the added pressure of  being sure to enjoy EVERY SINGLE MINUTE.  Isn't it enough that we are trying our best to raise self-confident, well-adjusted, healthy eating, law-abiding, happy little people? Now we have to be sure to do it with our hearts and minds full of joy or it doesn't count.


My favorite line reads:


Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.

Every time I think about it I laugh. Even while I was typing it I was giggling. BECAUSE IT IS FUNNY! The problem is, when something makes me laugh that much, I want to steal it and use it as my own. Not in a plagiarizing sort of way, but in a "This is so funny that it is now considered common knowledge, so EVERYONE is allowed to say it WHENEVER they want [to say it]" sort of way.

Check out Melton's article--I am still laughing at some of her words and her honesty is refeshing. I know how honest I'VE been on here and sometimes think I should start writing fiction, but reading her article reminded me that we are all the same--just trying to do right by our children and to limit the mistakes and guilt throughout our journey. Carpe THAT well meaning strangers...

WHAT a Bargain!

I LOVE to get a deal. I am one of those people who will spend HUNDREDS to say that she SAVED hundreds (or even fifty!). Back when I used to buy clothes for myself that A. didn't have an elastic waist or B. weren't made of old sweat pants, I can remember returning home with my purchases and leading with, "Guess how much I SAVED today..." My husband--who would pay double for YOUR old sweat pants if it meant saving HIM a trip to the store--would just assume we not buy anything. EVER.

Since that simply isn't reasonable, I try to get as many things on sale as possible and to make my purchases serve at least two purposes. For example, my daughter's birthday is in July...we need new pool toys and the first day of school is coming. She gets a raft, a dolphin water- basketball game, some diving rings, crayons, pencils, notebooks, glue and paint. The school supplies were purchased at the beginning of the LAST school year and the pool toys have been hiding since last Christmas. I also have a Christmas Barbie that has been hiding since last year's sale She is THRILLED. So am I. My husband? Not so much, but that man won't be happy until we operate on a barter system, so it's fine.

I stopped by Target yesterday to pick up...huh. I don't even REMEMBER what I intended to pick up at Target yesterday because I was pulled in by the 50% off sign on the Halloween stuff. I have a theory that all holidays need to be celebrated the week AFTER the holiday. I'm not saying we should ignore it [the holiday] completely, but the exchanging of the gifts and maybe even some of the decorating can wait. Nothing sickens me more (yes, I'm sure you can think of SOMETHING that would sicken me MORE, but don't) than seeing something I paid good money for on the clearance rack for pennies. That is why I try not to purchase anything just before a holiday...I either buy it months (maybe weeks) in advance, or (preferably) after the holiday.

Take Halloween for instance. When my children were younger (I know--at almost 5, 6 and 7, they are STILL young!), my mother decided that SHE wanted to but their Halloween costumes each year. Of course, that was when I only had ONE and that lasted...two years. I think it was an unfair situation--we were shopping together and saw the cutest monkey costume at Old Navy. I'm of the mind that if a costume is over $10, I don't want it. It's simply the principle that annoys me. My mother on the other hand felt that my son HAD to have the costume. We almost threw down at Old Navy, when she took it to the register and paid for it. In retrospect, I am SO glad that she did. All three children have worn the monkey suit and my son's nickname was monkey, so it fit (so to speak). Even when it didn't... My daughter was a chick another year and she was precious! The only problem was that the costume was so soft--SO SOFT that everyone would touch her. She wasn't the biggest fan of THAT. My neighbor gave us the most adorable witch costume the following year and there was a ladybug from my parents in there somewhere...These costumes served us well from Virginia to Montana--and my children never minded sharing or being the same thing two years in a row. They did, however, grow, so we needed to pass on our goods to others who would appreciate them.

I was in Walgreen's a few days after Halloween about three years ago and I saw that their costumes were 75% off the last sale price. SEVENTY-FIVE PERCENT OFF. I couldn't BELIEVE it and I couldn't resist. A previously marked down Batman costume (a REALLY nice costume) which was originally SIXTY DOLLARS (who pays that really?!), I bought for almost ten. A flower child costume, I got for a dollar fifty. A vampire? five dollars. I wasn't sure how I was going to justify buying all of these costumes when my husband saw them, but I kept stocking up on them. Mermaid? Three fifty. Princess? A buck and a quarter.

As I was ferociously searching through these costumes, I realized how perfect this was. My children LOVE to dress up. EVERY DAY. Why wouldn't I buy them costumes AFTER Halloween? They get a ton of costumes and I am all set for next year. THEN an even BETTER idea came to me. WE celebrate St. Nicholas's Day, (December...5th?! 4th?!) and the Feast of the Three Kings (January 5th?! 6th?!) and St. Nicholas usually leaves fruit, candy (usually left over Halloween candy!) [sometimes] nuts and a little present for each child and the kings usually leave gifts. THIS year, St. Nicholas would be bringing them each a costume! THEN on Christmas, he (this time as Santa!) will bring them ANOTHER costume and the three kings will bring another. THEN (if I can wait that long!) the Easter Bunny will get on board with this whole costume thing, too!

 That plan worked for that year--and my kids LOVED it! The following year, I waited too long to get to the stores. I was there at 50%, but decided to hold out for 75. Too greedy. By the time I went back, everything was gone. I would NOT make the same mistake THIS year! When I saw the 50% off signs, I was like a madwoman. I must have had fifty costumes at one point and even I saw the absurdity of THAT. Not for FIFTY percent off. Seventy-five, maybe...

 We now have a fire fighter, Iron Man, two Transformers, Frankenstein, The mushroom-top guy from Mario Kart, a Storm trooper (or something new that may not actually BE a Storm Trooper), three light sabres (ALSO fifty percent off!)--I couldn't let only one child have one, a "midnight" fairy, a cheerleader, a cowgirl, an Eskimo girl, a little devil, a princess, a butterfly, a purple wig and a pink wig with leotards that match--all for $100. Why WOULDN'T I buy them?! (My HUSBAND--I know!)















THIS Halloween, my children wore costumes that they already had. They went trick-or-treating THREE times (four if you count Brayden's trip with me to Shop Rite) and wore a different costume to each event. I was not able to do my costume thing last year, so these were costumes that were either given to them by others or were worn by them for other things (dance recitals, karate, etc) and I am very impressed with what they did with them. If I had purchased a costume for each of them at the regular price, I would have spent at least sixty dollars. Now for a hundred, I have costumes done and gifts ready. You may even get one for your child on his birthday--be careful what you say! THIS makes me very happy. My husband? Let's just say that THIS makes ME very happy...