NO shuffling for US this weekend

As you know (at least you KNOW IF you did your last assignment http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2012/02/when-im-eighty-five.html), my grandfather turned eighty-five this week. It was a very exciting week for us because we were going to visit him to celebrate his birthday--YAY! I haven't seen him since July when my maniacs invaded his home children and I visited with my Godson and college roommate and had an AWESOME time and my husband hasn't seen him--wow--since LAST EASTER! THAT is too long--ESPECIALLY when you don't live in MonFREAKINtana anymore.  http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/hundred-dead-bodies-simply-arent-enough.html

My grandfather is hilarious--really--he seriously cracks me up ALL the time. He is always trying to get people riled up and then he sits back and watches the drama unfurl. I suppose this is in part because he spends most of his days falling asleep to the sound of Glen Beck, Bill O'Reilly and *shudder* Hannity. I KNOW--MANY of you welcome this about my grandfather and think that you too will spend your golden years with the rantings dronings musings of Fox news celebrities in your ear (and think that I'M a "... liberal tree-hugger, which I am not). Only I am pretty sure that my Papa watches it to gain material. Material for WHAT you ask? Material for the drama that makes him thrive.

SO I commented (okay--maybe yelled or whined)  (when we visited him TWO years ago) that he should really watch SEVERAL news channels to maybe get CLOSER to the truth about whatever "news" they are peddling ranting about each day. I went on to complain (and I REALLY believe this to be true) that I HATE the news these days. There really isn't any "news" at all, really--there's a bunch of editorializing and it is possible that we NEVER get the truth about ANYTHING. Simply saying that at all was enough to prompt my Papa to begin our "Fox News" war. EVERY TIME he would turn the television on he would say, "Time to watch the liars now..." or "I wonder what the liars have to say." The best was when we talked about the weather and he said, "Who knows--the liars said it was going to rain, so it will probably be sunny!" Here is where I need to interject. He DEFINITELY fought FOR my position on THAT one because I think we ALL know that weather people are RARELY on point with their forecasts. In fact, I will encourage my children to go into that field BECAUSE of the fact that it is a field where they can be wrong and virtually NOTHING happens to them. "Well, it LOOKS LIKE we COULD get some rain tomorrow..." "I GUESS we were lucky that the winter storm coming in from the east missed us completely!"  Nice.

Back to my Papa. He has the MOST fun with people who take themselves too seriously or take HIM too seriously.  Unfortunately, that doesn't make it much fun for THOSE people all the time...THAT'S when he needs to pull out his "I'M EIGHTY-FREAKIN-FIVE, PEOPLE!" card. (I think I need to make one for him...)

On to the visit. It didn't happen. Our plan was to leave at around 12 or 1 to visit my husband's family near Binghamton on Thursday and to head to Buffalo on Friday to spend the weekend with my family there (and to celebrate the fact that my Papa is...well, you know--EIGHTY FIVE) (and not that HIS family isn't MY family and MY family isn't HIS family--I just wanted to avoid--well--THIS!), but Wednesday night at about eleven, my husband complained of having a bad stomach. Every twenty minutes all night long, his "bad" stomach...attacked him and he ended up calling in sick to work. He was STILL a trooper, however and said that maybe he would feel better so that we could leave later in the day. Now, I know how I felt after waking up every twenty minutes WITHOUT using the bathroom--I can only IMAGINE how he was feeling ("It was like a terrorist attack in there..." Have you ever seen Ghost Town with Ricky Gervaise? My friend Amber let us borrow it this summer--and we STILL have it (because we are horrible people and sucky friends)--but I think you would have had to see that movie to think that comment was funny...) , so he definitely gets points for even CONSIDERING it!  Sadly, the doctor confirmed that he would STILL be contagious next week--even after his symptoms are gone. The good news is, as long as there is A LOT of hand washing at our house, the rest of us should be safe from it. The bad news is, I am the only one who takes hand washing seriously.

Needless to say, I am pretty sure we ALL will be getting it and although my husband attempted walking hobbling down the stairs at about 10:30 this morning claiming, "Maybe if I rest for a few more hours we can head to Buffalo later..." Now, if you could have SEEN what this man looked like as he groaned out those words, you too would have fallen out of your chair laughing. I wish I would have taken a picture--he was quite pathetic looking--AND sounding. And we both knew there was NO WAY we were driving ANYWHERE today. The children, however still think it could happen. Addison keeps asking, "Why don't we djust dwyive theywewer and put Dada in a bed whyel we pwyay wif Auntie Johwjohw and Aunt KK..and Papa John?"  If I didn't think it would make my Papa spend the week after his birthday in the bathroom, THAT would have been the plan