REALLY?! Chicken nuggets over turkey...?

If you haven't had the chance, check out http://www.youknowithappensatyourhousetoo.blogspot.com/. I'll wait. Seriously, read it now because you need it for this next assignment.

You're done? I'm just going to have to take your word for it since I don't have all day. If you did indeed read today's post, then you are no doubt as irritated as I am about it. NOT about the post--it was very well-written--irritated with the TOPIC. That is why I am using it for the Monday Meme topic. What do you think about this new theme of school officials dictating what every child should eat--even when you pack a lunch for your child to bring? I've given you a hint of how I feel about things in http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/healthy-i-think-not.html , but I want to know what YOU think. Let's hope that today's topic brings more participation than last week's "funny story" meme. Surely there are AT LEAST twenty or thirty of you who want to weigh in on this topic. If not, then we are REALLY in trouble. And chicken nuggets are going to become an official food group.




THESE are the facebook posts--I tried to delete names and faces since I didn't ask them if they minded being "featured" on the blog--I just wanted the non-facebookers to be able to see what others are saying on the topic...

• 
  
• •  People really need to look closer at what schools think healthy eating is. Thank you for helping other Mom's see what is going on. :0)

    16 hours ago ·  ·  1
  • 

    Nika Corwin Thanks,! And thanks for reading and commenting! :o)

    
    

    16 hours ago 
  •  I agree that kids should eat a lot healthier than they do, as i was told in no uncertain terms almost a year ago that i had to stop eating garbage and lose weight. That said, chicken nuggets? One of the most processed foods EVER!

    16 hours ago ·
  •  I know....I had so many words in my mind over that.

    16 hours ago · 
  • s 

    Whoa! Honestly I can say from having experience being that inspector for in-home daycare facilities that nobody is going to take a perfectly good sandwich away from a kid and replace it with chicken nuggets.   If that was done, it was done in error. And errors happen. The point of the programs in place are to give a healthy alternative to kids who come to school with henious lunches or lack there of. Which happens more than we think. The programs are not perfect by any means, no programs are, but the intent is good and we should remember that. Especially when we don't have to look very far to find bad intending influences our children are exposed to daily.See More

    15 hours ago · 
  •  That was so 48 seconds ago!!!

    15 hours ago ·
  • . I agree with the intent- but there will need to be checks and balances. I always hate when people say that watching over something will leads to extreme and bad stuff, but this opens the door.
    
    That said, if we can lower obesity, it is a very good thing. Less than a year ago, I ate bk and McDonald's twice a day and was about 5-8 215. That is sick! I can't imagine what it does to a pre schoolers

    15 hours ago · 
  • t Tom you should be nice to Nika!

    15 hours ago ·  ·  2
  •  No offense, Adam, but what I eat, or what I feed my kids, regardless whether it's heathy or not, is no ones business, especially the governments.....with that being said, maybe we should start limiting what you can buy with food stamps, like twinkies and ho ho's and mandate that people being supported with my tax dollars eat healthy.

    15 hours ago · 
  •  I love Nika!!! ♥

    15 hours ago ·  ·  1
  •  Tom- from what you are saying, I couldn't picture you feeding your kids like I ate. If parents are feeding their kids that kind of stuff, it is abusive. Kids should be physically fit or not be able to advance a grade.

    15 hours ago · 
  • I agree, Nika knows my kids didn't eat that much junk. All I am saying is it is a parents responsibility to raise their kids, not the governments. If the government wants to start dictating how kids are raised, let them start with  preventing crack heads from having them in the first place (mandatory 5 year birth control implant, then evaluate their stability before removing it), oh wait, can't do that because they have rights, but me as a tax paying citizen seems to be losing my rights every day.See More

    15 hours ago ·  ·  1
  • 

    Nika Corwin 

    Okay, let's NOT get into the food stamp debate--I am too tired for THAT ridiculousness right now, though I AM torn about the regulation of packed lunches. I am CERTAIN that this was an extreme case and that the intent of the program was not...See More

    6 hours ago · 
  • 

    Nika Corwin Tom...Tom, Tom, Tom...I didn't want to get political, yet I knew I was entering that area when I posted! Not all children are blessed with the parents your children have and not all people on food stamps are crack heads. Though I agree that crack heads should be helped and monitored. And aren't a lot of people against birth control--especially the mandatory kind?

    6 hours ago · 
  • 

    Nika Corwin And listen to Michael and be nice to me...'cause I love you, too! ;o)

My life as an Examiner

So I started writing for The Examiner in November and I have NO IDEA what I am doing. I really had fun writing the first few articles, but I did not follow the directions I was given and no one seemed to care. I guess I should be happy about that...but I'm not. I don't like not having any guidance or feedback. Maybe all of YOU can sign up and we can get through this together. Sort of an Examiner support group or something. Be sure to enter http://exm.nr/AacmA7 so that they know I sent you!
Check out my articles at http://www.examiner.com/user-justanothertiredmommy: [Will Muppets make a comeback this holiday? Whether it's Walmart or Boscov's, toys are at tantalizing prices this week! Thanksgiving fun that won't expand your waistline. How early is too early? This Holiday Season, Microsoft "Kinects" with gamers.] Please leave some constructive feedback--I NEED it!

NO shuffling for US this weekend

As you know (at least you KNOW IF you did your last assignment http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2012/02/when-im-eighty-five.html), my grandfather turned eighty-five this week. It was a very exciting week for us because we were going to visit him to celebrate his birthday--YAY! I haven't seen him since July when my maniacs invaded his home children and I visited with my Godson and college roommate and had an AWESOME time and my husband hasn't seen him--wow--since LAST EASTER! THAT is too long--ESPECIALLY when you don't live in MonFREAKINtana anymore.  http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/hundred-dead-bodies-simply-arent-enough.html

My grandfather is hilarious--really--he seriously cracks me up ALL the time. He is always trying to get people riled up and then he sits back and watches the drama unfurl. I suppose this is in part because he spends most of his days falling asleep to the sound of Glen Beck, Bill O'Reilly and *shudder* Hannity. I KNOW--MANY of you welcome this about my grandfather and think that you too will spend your golden years with the rantings dronings musings of Fox news celebrities in your ear (and think that I'M a "... liberal tree-hugger, which I am not). Only I am pretty sure that my Papa watches it to gain material. Material for WHAT you ask? Material for the drama that makes him thrive.

SO I commented (okay--maybe yelled or whined)  (when we visited him TWO years ago) that he should really watch SEVERAL news channels to maybe get CLOSER to the truth about whatever "news" they are peddling ranting about each day. I went on to complain (and I REALLY believe this to be true) that I HATE the news these days. There really isn't any "news" at all, really--there's a bunch of editorializing and it is possible that we NEVER get the truth about ANYTHING. Simply saying that at all was enough to prompt my Papa to begin our "Fox News" war. EVERY TIME he would turn the television on he would say, "Time to watch the liars now..." or "I wonder what the liars have to say." The best was when we talked about the weather and he said, "Who knows--the liars said it was going to rain, so it will probably be sunny!" Here is where I need to interject. He DEFINITELY fought FOR my position on THAT one because I think we ALL know that weather people are RARELY on point with their forecasts. In fact, I will encourage my children to go into that field BECAUSE of the fact that it is a field where they can be wrong and virtually NOTHING happens to them. "Well, it LOOKS LIKE we COULD get some rain tomorrow..." "I GUESS we were lucky that the winter storm coming in from the east missed us completely!"  Nice.

Back to my Papa. He has the MOST fun with people who take themselves too seriously or take HIM too seriously.  Unfortunately, that doesn't make it much fun for THOSE people all the time...THAT'S when he needs to pull out his "I'M EIGHTY-FREAKIN-FIVE, PEOPLE!" card. (I think I need to make one for him...)

On to the visit. It didn't happen. Our plan was to leave at around 12 or 1 to visit my husband's family near Binghamton on Thursday and to head to Buffalo on Friday to spend the weekend with my family there (and to celebrate the fact that my Papa is...well, you know--EIGHTY FIVE) (and not that HIS family isn't MY family and MY family isn't HIS family--I just wanted to avoid--well--THIS!), but Wednesday night at about eleven, my husband complained of having a bad stomach. Every twenty minutes all night long, his "bad" stomach...attacked him and he ended up calling in sick to work. He was STILL a trooper, however and said that maybe he would feel better so that we could leave later in the day. Now, I know how I felt after waking up every twenty minutes WITHOUT using the bathroom--I can only IMAGINE how he was feeling ("It was like a terrorist attack in there..." Have you ever seen Ghost Town with Ricky Gervaise? My friend Amber let us borrow it this summer--and we STILL have it (because we are horrible people and sucky friends)--but I think you would have had to see that movie to think that comment was funny...) , so he definitely gets points for even CONSIDERING it!  Sadly, the doctor confirmed that he would STILL be contagious next week--even after his symptoms are gone. The good news is, as long as there is A LOT of hand washing at our house, the rest of us should be safe from it. The bad news is, I am the only one who takes hand washing seriously.

Needless to say, I am pretty sure we ALL will be getting it and although my husband attempted walking hobbling down the stairs at about 10:30 this morning claiming, "Maybe if I rest for a few more hours we can head to Buffalo later..." Now, if you could have SEEN what this man looked like as he groaned out those words, you too would have fallen out of your chair laughing. I wish I would have taken a picture--he was quite pathetic looking--AND sounding. And we both knew there was NO WAY we were driving ANYWHERE today. The children, however still think it could happen. Addison keeps asking, "Why don't we djust dwyive theywewer and put Dada in a bed whyel we pwyay wif Auntie Johwjohw and Aunt KK..and Papa John?"  If I didn't think it would make my Papa spend the week after his birthday in the bathroom, THAT would have been the plan

When I'm eighty-five

My grandfather turned eighty FIVE this week. EIGHTY-FREAKIN-FIVE. He is EIGHTY-FIVE (in case you didn't get that yet) and people STILL give him crap. Maybe not actually TO him, but the crap is definitely there. "He never calls ME--I ALWAYS have to call HIM..." "EVERY time I talk to him, he RUSHES me off the phone--it's like he doesn't even want to TALK to me!" "He NEVER visits and it seems like he doesn't even want ME to visit..." We are ALL guilty of these complaints--I used to take everything personally, too--until I realized that it has very little to do with me and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that he is EIGHTY-FIVE (or eighty-four, eighty three...I'm willing to take it back to the sixties if you need me to...)! If I am lucky enough to live to be FIFTY (let alone EIGHTY-FIVE!), I am going to be EVERYONE'S worst nightmare. And I am NOT joking.

First of all, I will NEVER call anyone again--EVER. If anyone feels the need to talk to me, THEY can call me and even then I will limit the time. Like I really want to spend my "golden" years on the damn telephone. This is coming from a person who spent the better part of the eighties ON the telephone, so imagine a person who has NEVER liked the telephone EVER. Do you really think he is going to want to waste ANY of his time listening to someone blather on about some stupid computer-story-blog thing she is working on or the fact that her youngest poops on the potty? Not to mention fighting for "ear" time with one, three, FIVE...insistent children? I don't have the patience for that at THIRTY-FREAKIN...something, I can't imagine how LITTLE I will want to tolerate it over forty years from now...I seriously SHUDDER...

When I am NOT talking to anyone, I will stay at home and wait for people to come to ME--to see how I am and to do what they can to make my world better. ESPECIALLY my children and they had BETTER damn well train their children to do the same. Don't get me wrong--I will TRY to remember to be a kind, caring, doting grandparent and I will TRY to remember how hard it was to raise my children with no family to help, but I IMAGINE that I will think, "My work here is MORE THAN done--NOW it is time for ME. Remember that span of eight years when you NEVER let me sleep? Or when you would REFUSE to flush the toilet--EVER--so that our house smelled like urine and...well...NOT pleasant) for weeks at a time? YOU owe ME now, people, and I am cashing in, BIG TIME.

Of course, there is no way to absolutely know how this story will go--I MAY spend my life not really caring either way--I DO see that as a possibility. I already get annoyed with people and I've barely broken forty. You see, it annoys me that people want  to make EVERYTHING into drama and make EVERYTHING about themselves. "YOU haven't called me" instead of "YOU... must be busy." "YOU don't even care about me" instead of "YOU...must have a lot on your mind." The thing is, people refuse to realize how LITTLE they are thought about and how other people's choices do not have ANYTHING to do with them. I know--I'm not making any sense right now, but try to stay with me. If I don't call YOU, it has VERY LITTLE to do with you. In fact, I may not even be thinking of YOU at all. Sorry. You may not have even crossed my mind. It's the truth. These days, the only thing on my mind is sleep and...well...making sure that my children grow up to be people who other people want to be around on a daily basis. That in itself CONSUMES me and I am sure it will for decades. If you are not helping or hindering that process, it's pretty much a given that I am not thinking of you. Sorry--it sounds so rude, but you KNOW you have similar feelings about me and I am TOTALLY okay with it. Why WOULD you be thinking of me? Why WOULD you take the time to DELIBERATELY NOT call me? If that is an issue, then I REALLY shouldn't be on your brain at all.

Which brings me back to my Papa who is EIGHTY FIVE. Do I really believe that every time I am not talking to him he is thinking, "HA! Well, I'M not going to call HER!  And if she CALLS...well, I'm going to make THAT a short conversation..."?  How VAIN am I?! Well, let me tell you, I am done with all of THAT energy-sucking behavior and I am also done tolerating it. I'm serious--when I am--OLDER--I will be such a mess. I will NOT. CARE. ABOUT. ANYTHING. Chin hair? Embrace it. Flatulence in public? As long as it makes me feel better. Thirds on dessert? You'd better damn well BELIEVE it. I may give up real meals completely and JUST eat dessert. BECAUSE I AM EIGHY-FREAKIN-FIVE.  If you think THIS is bad, you don't even want to KNOW about NINETY...

Tuesday: TOO MANY topics to title

     Well, the "meme" thing didn't quite work out as planned. I DO thank those of you who posted for taking the time to share your stories--they made me laugh and really made my day! I'm pretty sure that there is more to this meme thing than I know, only I am pretty sure that I am not going to do anything to fix it!
 
 WHY, you ask? Well, I spend A LOT of time on the computer. A LOT is actually an understatement (even in all CAPS). My schedule these days is:
1. Wake up--usually because of yelling or crying--OR because the kids are making noise (I don't think I will ever NOT do that joke. it's like I'm a ninety-year-old man!)
2. More yelling, screaming, crying.
3. Ask children nicely to get dressed and make sure their bags are ready.
4. Make breakfast (I don't know if you remember (or if you READ your assignment...)http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/healthy-i-think-not.html, but it pretty much explains why I try to feed my children some fruit, yogurt, or whole grains before they go to school in the morning. I COULD have them eat the animal crackers that the school provides for breakfast (and I DO on REALLY bad mornings!), but I'm a mean mom.
5. Ask children nicely to get dressed and make sure their bags are ready. Ask children to brush their teeth.
6. Pack lunches (YES--I know it would be easier if I would only pack them at night, but it turns out it ISN'T that much easier and it is so very hard for me to get off of the sofa at night).
7. Ask children nicely to get dressed and make sure their bags are ready. Ask children to brush their teeth.
8. Gather books and papers and lunches to put in their bags that are not ready.
9. Throw dishes in the sink (or leave them on the table for days. It just depends...)
10. Scream at the top of my lungs because the children did not gather their things and put them in their bags and they did not brush their teeth.
11. Scream LOUDER because the children STILL don't have shoes on and their teeth are rotting out as I speak.
12. Zip up bags, force toothbrushes in each child's mouth (though I may let them rot--it just depends on the day) carry three bags and three screaming children out the door.
13. BARELY make it to school on time. USUALLY pull up to the building just as the doors are closing and locking.
14. Sign children in late.
15.Drop the youngest off at preschool.
16. Magic returns. Permanent scowl not quite as evident as earlier.
17. DRAG (YES, DRAG...I'm still working on the whole "mind-body" thing) my butt to the gym.
   
Okay--when all is said and done, I usually get home between 12 and 12:30 depending on how much I do at the gym--exercising AND talking.  My latest schedule has included eating an apple and a banana on the way to school (I was missing breakfast) and making and eating a salad when I get home (I was missing lunch, too). THEN...I get on the computer. SOME days I will clean first, but if I do that I tend to feel uninspired and have a more difficult time writing. All this takes some work--you understand.  Now, you may be asking yourself, WHY does it take three hours to write a blog? It doesn't. I usually sit down and hammer it out within minutes, but it takes a full hour to mess with any links I may want to add, an hour to review facebook posts, and about TWO hours to fight with CAPCHA codes to comment on my blog and other blogs I like. I posted on facebook the other day some examples of what my demonic computer sends to me: " The "CAPTCHA" codes I got today when commenting on blogs: ruinsu, sch A sap, and stu upD. I swear the little man in my computer is messing with me!" I've also gotten "U shtup," "UR hor," "grl dMB" and "smel LE fet." Maybe I'm reaching,but I don't think I am. My computer demon thinks I am a stupid, smelly whore who is a sap and should shut up. Oh--and something "ruins" me. Or I ruin something. Either way, there is "ruining" going on and THAT can't be good!
If I ever figure out how to do tabs, I am going to have one for my running log of CAPCHA codes. There are so many that I can't even THINK of now--some that just come right out and SAY nasty things (unlike these where you have to work at them a little. instead of "UR hor," they come out and say, "YOU are a Whore," or "Hey you stupid slut!" Nice. That just reminded me of a song that is evidently out now--something about a "stupid slut..." by some young performer my children idolize. My friend Berenice told me that her daughter LOVES this person, so I know it is just a matter of time for MY children. Considering my only experience with music is KidsBop and Barney (yes, Addison still LOVES that purple dinosaur and is NOT ashamed to admit it), I am glad she warned me. I cannot even IMAGINE what I would do if I heard one of my children say or sing, "...stupid whore..." We've come a long way since http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/to-curse-or-not-to-curse.html and evidently we landed on, "to curse."

They STILL act like it is a big deal when someone says, "stupid," and unless they HAVE heard that song, I'm pretty sure they have never heard the word, "whore," so I may be safe. Of course, three weeks in to kindergarten last year, I heard Ryan telling Brayden that she and her friend, Caitlyn, have a "...sexy walk" that they do on the playground. REALLY? A SEXY walk? Sadly, it was true. Last night friends of ours invited us over for a "family night" that they have every Monday. When the organized activities were done, SEVEN children (I seriously don't know HOW people do it--bless you, Duggar family and those like you! Anyway--sorry! I saw something shiny.)   Oh--so the girls were playing dress up and they came strutting into the kitchen wearing and OWNING high heels. I am pretty sure that I would have bit it--HARD-- in heels that high, but my daughter was strutting her stuff like it was her job. GREAT news. NOW I understand the "sexy walk" on the playground and it is QUITE disturbing!

It is now Friday and I wrote all of this on Tuesday. I explained that the actual WRITING of the blog usually only takes minutes and that is true. The problem is, on some days I am sleep-typing. Today could end up being one of those days and Tuesday was DEFINITELY a sleep-typing day. On most sleep-typing days, I peck away at the keys, finish in minutes and post before I think twice about what I've written (and hope it wasn't something horribly done or in poor taste). I try to NEVER look at those posts again. EVER. The problem with this post is that I actually DID fall asleep while typing it. LUCKILY I  nodded off enough to jerk myself awake, because I promised to spend the morning in my daughter's classroom and the afternoon in my son's. I immediately exited the program and rushed off to help out with the crazy Valentine's Day happenings in their classrooms. I also volunteer when it ISN'T a crazy classroom day and those days are SO MUCH BETTER, but  I  realize that my services are more needed on the crazy days. It KILLS me because the principal was OBSERVING teachers on Valentine's Day. I remember my own principals when I was teaching reminding us that EVERY day is a teaching day. I don't care WHERE you are, or WHO celebrates or not--a classroom full of twenty-five PLUS elementary school-aged children  is going to be OUT OF HAND on Valentine's Day. Add to it the fact that they chose to  make Valentine's week, conference week as well (which means they get out an hour and a half earlier)...what a nightmare.  These are things that annoyed me as a teacher and that annoy me even more as a parent. Setting someone up to fail is not something I like to witness--even when I'm in sleep-typing/walking/volunteering mode.

WHY am I telling you all of this? Because it is now FRIDAY and I never posted this. Only NOW I am looking at it again (though I only skimmed it because it is boring enough to send me RIGHT back into sleep-typing mode) and wondering if I should just quit while I'm ahead and post it before it gets worse. This was GOING to be a Valentine's Day post--I'm not sure what it ended up as, but I DO want to mention that I got a pretty good V-Day gift. My husband came home with Bang Bang shrimp from Bonefish Grill (which we haven't had in YEARS because we lived in MonFREAKINtana (see http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/hundred-dead-bodies-simply-arent-enough.html to see how much I truly LOVE MonFREAKINtana) and the one here is about forty minutes from us) (http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2012/02/according-to-my-plan-oh-great-now-i.html) which tells me that--EGADS--he actually READS my blog!  WHAT a GREAT present! After THIS particular post, he MAY be the only one left who does...

Wordless? Wednesday...

Not-so-wordless Wednesday...

 
 
 
 


...and here are the words I promised not to use...

So after seeing the above photos, you must be under the impression that my children DO indeed sleep. Well, they don't. At least not at the times most young children are supposed to sleep. My children only sleep when I'm awake. Maybe because they need someone to take the pictures...

What's in a meme (teehee...snort...I seriously need professional help!)?

So here it is--my first official "Memey" Monday! Don't act like you are surprised or like you don't know what I mean. You remember http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2012/02/now-theres-plan.html , don't you? (How vain am I to assume that ANYONE is reading this and that if they ARE indeed reading this, they've read others as well? P-R-E-T-T-Y vain!) Well, it would be just fine if you would like to click on that link and review. There won't be a test, but it would give me THAT many more page views...it's ALL about me...

ANYWAY..."Memey Monday" is something I want to do every week, which means that I will probably do it two or three times, get bored or distracted and will then come up with some other "plan" that I find to be the best idea EVER. If I ask you where my children get their flair for the dramatic, I give you permission to slap me. You may NOT, however, stop reading my posts because I need as many of you as possible. Thanks--I KNEW I cold count on you!

So today's "Memey (I know I'm  getting ridiculous, but it's fun! Try it! Go on...) Monday" topic is: What is the most ridiculous thing you have said to your child(ren), spouse, boss, teacher, or stranger this week(month, year, EVER...)? YOU KNOW--we ALL (even ME(!)) have moments where our mouths feel as though they are being pushed off of a cliff (with NO parachute in sight) and there's nothing we can do to stop them. ESPECIALLY when we are frustrated with people in our lives.  Addison's teacher told me the most HILARIOUS story about her son this morning and it inspired this "meme", so THANK YOU, Miss Amber!

"I told Braedyn (Yes...her child is named Braedyn, too. AND they both have Thomas as a middle name. AND their last names both begin with C. WEIRD--I know, but NOT the subject of THIS particular meme)..." So where was she? I even interrupt people when they aren't actually TELLING the story...that's a problem.

So , Miss Amber tells me this morning: "I told Braedyn (hers, not mine) that his teacher better not tell me that he is talking all the time, or I am going to start making him eat different vegetables." Excuse me, but I need to interject here. Miss Amber explained to us that she, like the rest of us, is basically at her wit's end, trying to figure out what to take away from her child to get her child to care enough about it to change his behavior. I KNOW--an interjection is as bad as an interruption, but I felt that this information was PERTINENT to the story. Continue...
"So I told him, 'If I get a bad report, you are getting green beans for dinner.' He looked at me for a second and then responded, 'You know...I've been thinking I should get more vegetables in my diet, so that's a good idea."' Perfect. And MUCH funnier when Miss Amber told it! So now it's YOUR turn. Either comment on here or email me your story. It can be ANYTHING (well--within reason!) even something that maybe happened when you were a kid. Like the time my mother told me I was grounded forever and I believed her. I was too afraid to ask if I was ever NOT grounded, so I pretty much remained grounded for most of 8th and 9th grades. Or when my former pastor and his wife were out to dinner with all of the pastors in the region (and their wives) and he told all of them how his wife will ONLY watch "R" rated movies (her reasoning makes a lot of sense, however, I have to say--she wants to watch something that she CANNOT watch with her children--only that may not have been the right forum...just sayin'...). Or the time when you met Jay Leno in Montana and you stepped on his toe while explaining to him that you are just as smart as his "Jay Walkers (AND a fifth grader)."

This reminds me of when I taught high school. I gave my students a writing prompt daily at the beginning of class and I would have a few people share. SOME days, EVERYONE wanted to share. Let's make TODAY one of those days...I'm almost giddy with excitement!


Craig G writes about memes in his article, "What is a Blog Meme?" (See--I'm not the only one who loves playing on this whole "meme" thing!) I'm hoping he will take pity on this first time memer (is that a thing?!) and will help by maybe posting...? Check out his link to gain more insight on this whole "meme" thing--I wish I would have read it BEFORE I posted!
http://www.chrisg.com/what-is-a-blog-meme/


http://www.chrisg.com/what-is-a-blog-meme/

www.thenittygrittymommy.blogspot.com

http://www.youknowithappensatyourhouseto...

I bet you can think of FIFTY things that taste as good as you feel reading THIS!

According to my "plan" (oh great--now I have to think about that Friends episode and laugh again. That takes up a lot of time...), today is "Friday's Fabulous Facebook Finds" day. I should write about all of the things that other people did to make me laugh this week. According to my "plan," that is. Since we all know that I am about as consistent as my internet signal (N-O-T CONSISTENT...), I'm not sure if my rambling will end with that or not. I guess we shall see. YES--WE shall see. So continue reading and DO NOT click on that little red "x!" Do not minimize so that you can watch or read something better. DON'T DO IT. Thanks!

I left the gym this morning feeling pleased that I stayed for two hours and did a pretty hard workout and feeling crummy that...well...I was at the GYM. I KNOW there are people out there who LOVE going to the gym (Tom, Laura, Heidi...) and I salute you. No, really--not with THAT finger--I salute you the proper way because the world needs people like you to motivate people like me to get our fat @S$#s moving!  If we didn't see other people doing it and having fun, we would NEVER put down the Ben and Jerry's and get to a workout facility. EVER. I know that the more you work out the more endorphins you produce, but I've said this before: ANY endorphins I EVER produced were delivered OUT of me with the placentas. If the first two didn't get them, that last one sucked them up like ME on a chocolate ganache-filled cupcake. IN FACT, my friend Melissa at http://www.adoredbefore.com/ and http://designherbrands.blogspot.com/ wrote an update the other day that I had also posted a bit differently weeks before about this. First, my friend, Tom (not the lounge singer (Tom Jones)--the OTHER Tom (he's the one who makes Tony Robbins look like he's depressed and unmotivated) posted "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" on his facebook page and I thought, "Huh. I guess that's true" and continued thinking about it for days. IN FACT, I think about it EVERY day and I finally posted, "Anyone who thinks that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels OBVIOUSLY has never tasted..."Lindt truffles. Or Nutella. Or lettuce wraps from P.F.Changs. Or Bang-Bang shrimp (or the yummy house salad--and the BREAD) from Bonefish. Or the BREAD and pretty much anything else from Carrabas, dipped in the "Italian butter." Or ANY of my Auntie Jojo's cooking (or my grandmother's cooking when she was alive). Or my mother's cooking back when she used to cook meals--198...SEVEN maybe?  Six? Let's say my mother's cooking circa 1984, just to be safe. Or this amazing doughnut (and the TOMATO PIE!) I had from Jim Main's bakery in Vineland--the outside is just a little crispy while the slightly warm doughnut oozes with the most decadent white filling EVER combined with the smooth chocolate icing...YUM. Or ANY of the baked goods that the Italian bakeries in New Jersey seem to offer. Or Rita's gelato--Swedish Fish with vanilla. Or the filet we used to get at It's About Thyme in Culpepper, Virginia (YES--CULPEPER!) that you could cut with a spoon. A SPOON. That bad boy would turn a vegan into a meat eater in seconds. A SPOON. *SIGH*

OR ANYTHING from Fotis (ALSO in Culpeper, though so many people don't have faith and snub their noses at Culpeper, so they will miss out on these delectable treats) which is run by some chefs who left The Inn At Little Washington (which is supposedly one of the BEST places to eat in the COUNTRY--at least as it was told to me by a guy I taught with years ago who took his wife there for their...twenty-fifth? Fiftieth? I'm lucky I know my OWN...!) wedding anniversary) to start their own restaurant. No one is happier than I am with their decision to leave, as Fotis is a fine dining experience for those who do NOT wish to sell a kidney to get funding. The wait staff treat EVERYONE (Even the jean-clad parents of two (at the time) who spent their day at a pumpkin farm) like royalty which makes the food taste EVEN BETTER. My memories of that place make me much happier than my memories of being skinny. Sorry, Tom!

Of course, when I was SKINNY, I THOUGHT I was fat, so maybe THAT is why my memories are so tainted. I didn't get to ENJOY my skinny days and I REALLY enjoyed my not-so-skinny (yes, I KNOW that means fat, but I'm not as eager to use that word now that I know that it applies to me. Thanks...) days eating what I wanted to eat. That's not to say that I wasn't healthy--I just need to not eat sugar EVER and to work out DAILY. THAT is what MY body needs to look good. And THAT pisses me off. GREATLY. I feel that I want to renegotiate the contract. I will exercise regularly (AT LEAST three to five days a week) and eat everything in moderation and you, body, will look like a person who is exercising regularly and eating everything in moderation. Unfortunately, my body is a bi&%# and didn't agree to my terms. I have to say, for the entire time I lived in Montana (almost two years) I only worked out seven times. SEVEN TIMES.  I did try to be an  EXTREMELY healthy eater when we first moved there, but I was very sick. I would FORCE down fish (can't stand it, but REALLY want to...) and find fun quinoa and bulgur recipes, not to mention the berry, flax seed, spinach, kale banana smoothies I drank with my kids each morning--but I still felt crummy--ALL the time, and when I tried to work out, I was exhausted and sometimes in pain. We moved there a few months after I stopped nursing my youngest, so I went INTO this new "contract" still needing to lose baby weight (from all THREE of my children--don't let me fool you!) and when I lay dormant for twenty-three months--let's just say it DIDN'T help! I gave up on the strict healthy eating because I thought, "i feel like I am dying and there is NO WAY I am going to choke down FISH as my last meal!" There were many days when the only thing I would eat would be a chocolate milkshake I begged my husband to bring home. Take THAT, body!

I had a partial hysterectomy and felt a bit better, but still not good enough to exercise. Of course, the longer I took to "feel like" exercising, the worse my body got. I had ANOTHER hysterectomy (Relax, boys! You KNOW we have the parts--well, I don't have the parts anymore, but there is no need to be shy about this. It's ALL medical...) and felt even better, though I didn't feel like a normal human being until after I was on a steroid that helped me to pack on 30-40 EXTRA pounds--WHILE I wasn't exercising (though I gave up the milkshake diet AND the fish!), so I was a HOT MESS. And by "HOT," I don't mean HOT. At. All. A friend of mine who has suffered from and risen above autoimmune diseases her whole life insisted that they test me for Sjogren's disease. She and a Rheumatologist  I worked with thought that my symptoms (OH-SO-MANY) mimicked those of Sjogren's patients. Long story--LONGER--I went on Sjogren's meds and am now renegotiating my contract with my body. And my body is winning. In my defense, it weighs more.

SO. I've pretty much given up on endorphins AND most of the foods I listed above which I happily reacquainted myself with after my first surgery, however, I am a sucker for a baked good and anything hinting of chocolate. If only...if only those baked goods made me as happy as I would feel if I were to fit into ANY of my fat clothes (YES...my ridiculously "fat" clothes are now too small. YIKES!) or into my old workout clothes that are actually kind of cute. NOW I am a smelly disgusting mess in my mismatched clothes that barely fit when I pick my daughter up after the gym and I don't even have a cute workout outfit because NOTHING is cute in this size AND nothing fits me anyway.

Wow--this went from "hopefully going to be funny," to "not funny at all," to "downright depressing!" Glad I could be of service...
I bet "skinny" feels WAAAAAAAY better than THIS felt while reading it! THAT'S something, right?!

Plan shmann...

Here I am. It's Thursday and according to my new "plan," it is one of the only days for me to actually write a full blog. Only, I kept Addison out of school today because all of her friends from last year's play group came over for a play date (or--if the authorities ask (do the authorities CARE about preschool?)--she was feeling a bit under the weather...which is HILARIOUS because she has been happily squeaking (yes, she is a squeaker--she squeals with excitement over--well--just about ANYTHING when she is in a happy mood) around me for the last two hours since her friends had to go home. Seriously, she is humming and singing and squeaking asking things like, "Don choo stink dat it is a WONDEWERFUL day, Momma?" and "Momma--Momma--MOMMMMMMAAAA--oh--teehee--guess what?! Dis is a gwryeat day!" So yeah--she's REALLY under the weather! I feel like that could mean anything. I  mean, she has a tummy ache at least five times a day (it only lasts a minute, but it's there), so technically she COULD be under the weather at any given time, but...I think I'm just gonna go with the truth. Especially because she keeps talking to me and asking me questions so I have NO IDEA what I am writing right now. I couldn't possibly keep up a lie, too!

Here is a snapshot of what is happening in MY world right now:

"Addison--why are you moving all of the chairs and bins around me? I won't be able to get up..."
"Yowewer at my wryestaurant. Don't fowerget to owerdewer food (in her highest, squeakiest, LOUDEST voice)!  "What would you yike? We have cake and cookies and muffins and cawrots and apples and..." (Remember--she is YELLING all of this and has done it for a good hour now. BUT--she is SO happy and in such a great, fun mood, I can't help but laugh.)

"OKAAAAAY (she's a little like Giselle from Enchanted--performing for an audience who is hard of hearing...)--let's make a SIGN! How do I spell  wryestaurant ? Mom? Mommy? MOMMA? How do I spell wryestaurant? "

"R."
"Awrewer? AWREWER? Okay. Awrewer. Okay Mommy. Okay Momma. Okay--what's ne-ext?  Momma? Mommy? Mom? What is aftewewre the awrewer? Momma? Mommy? Momma?"

"E."

"OOOOOHHHH...E. E, E, EEEEEEEEE! Fiwiwrst comes awrewer, then comes EEEE-EEEEE. Now is it S? Momma? Mommy? Mommy? Is there an S next? Momma? Momma? "

This continued for...well, she is still doing it, though she finished her sign. "Addie's Restaurant" is now full service and she is ECSTATIC about running it. You have NEVER seen a happier waitress in your life! And her sing-song voice would make me crazy if she wasn't so darn cute and if I didn't know that the exact opposite is what I usually get from my maniacs. I'll take singsong over brooding ANY day! Her voice is at a pitch that would make dogs wince, but again--too cute.

With all of this going on, I have no idea what I am writing, nor do I have an idea of what I WANT to write. I think we were discussing my "plan." My "plan" (I put "plan" in quotes because, let's be honest--the only "plan" I am ever capable of keeping is my "plan" to make more "plans." Plus, what is the saying? We make "plans" (I can't help it. I feel that it belongs in quotes...I'm like Joey from friends when he used his "air quotes"

Friends [Air Quotes FULL] -Hit Me- - YouTube

 SO. VERY. FUNNY.) (If you don't want to watch the whole thing, his first..."encounter" with the quotation marks comes within the first few minutes, but if you have time to watch it in its entirety, I HIGHLY recommend it. It may not be as funny as THIS mind-numbing rambling, but little is my friends. Little. Is.)

Okay...so I was talking about the saying that we make plans and God laughs. I like to think that I make God laugh more than most people because of all the "plans" I make. The average person probably makes fewer plans than I do, and probably follows more than I do. Which would make people who KNOW me (and I think God KNOWS me!) laugh even harder than those who don't. So at least I know I am doing SOMETHING to make God smile. Just sayin'...

So my "plan." Thursday is one of the only days to freely write my blog, but I am clearly having a problem with it! I'm not sure if it is because my children are LITERALLY yelling and screaming in circles around me and I'm feeling guilty or if it is because I'm feeling the pressure of only having two days of free writing, so it should be HILARIOUS--I don't know. It could also be the fact that the only consistency I have in ANY of my plans is the fact that I actually MAKE them, so this one is destined to fail. That's the spirit, right?! Wow--I think I need to suck in some of my daughter's enthusiasm! Insert squeaky, high-pitched, happy, yelling here:"THANK YOU! I CAN'T WAIT to write again tomorrow! You think I should write again tomorrow? I would LOVE to write again tomorrow. THANK YOU!"

I am looking at three blocks of cheese, a plate of carrots, a couple of cheese sticks, an apple, some bran muffins and a glass FULL of some smoothie type of drink that came from the depths of my refrigerator. Perhaps I need to have a conference with my "server" now... 

.

Not so "wordless" Wednesday

So this is my first "Wordless Wednesday" and here I am using WORDS again...oops! I think we BOTH know that I cannot POSSIBLY go completely WORDLESS! I also don't know what pictures I should be posting, but here goes:



HA! I know there are words, but those words are oh-so-very-funny!



I think we can all agree, this couldn't be more perfect for ME!


And finally, for my Jersey readers (or anyone who has heard anything about Jersey)...



...and this is REALLY what people said about Camden when I first moved here! I guess that makes ME Simba! Not the FIRST Disney character I would want to be, but it could be worse!

So much for being "wordless!" I'll try again next week!

NOW there's a plan...

Wow--I have been QUITE the slacker these last few weeks and there is SO MUCH MATERIAL for me to use to write HILARIOUS posts. Maybe that's the problem--too much pressure. Between waking up a million times a night to screaming children or a foot in the face and an elbow in the rib and fighting illnesses and a kamikaze migraine (that's right--I compared my migraine to a Japanese fighter pilot who is willing to give his life for his cause. YOU want to be the one to tell me that it isn't THAT bad or that my metaphor needs work? I didn't think so...now where was I? Suicide bombers and migraines...that's right...), not to MENTION my new-found LOVE of my life WWF (words with friends, NOT World Wide Wrestling, though I have a friend who is just lovely and SHE LOVES that other WWF, which always astounds me. She is normal and young and cute and a sweet mom and...well...she LOVES WWF. Need I say more?! It's just...surprising to me...let's leave it at that!) there seems to be no room anymore for my first love-blogging. I have TOTALLY left the blog in the wind and I am afraid people moved on without her. So NOW I have to work EXTRA hard to be funny or entertaining and I don't think I have it in me.

I think the last time I wrote regularly was [at least] two weeks ago. I know I ended one (incomplete) week with  pictures and comments of all things I found to be funny that week and I've been thinking that I may do that every Friday. What do you (sole reader in Medora North Dakota) think of that plan? I also thought about running a meme (that is actually a thing) one day a week. EVIDENTLY (thanks to my friend at http://www.alittlelucidity.com/ sending me info about ANOTHER blogging forum http://www.thesitsgirls.com/, I read about memes (pronounced MAMES) and learned that they are specific topics that a blogger comes up with to write about and to have others write about on the blog. So I could have everyone write about potty training or family [lack of] sleeping arrangements and anyone who wants to write something about that topic would submit. Does that (second person in Casper, Wyoming) sound like a good plan? I feel like if I have a plan, I will definitely follow it. It seems to be common protocol for bloggers to have a Wordless Wednesday. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry. Anyone who knows me (or OF me)  would laugh at the word "Wordless" in relation to ANYTHING I may do, but it is definitely something I am interested in trying. It would get me to be more savvy with the whole picture upload/download/...loading thingy (only technical terms are appropriate) and would help me to branch out--outside of my "comfort zone" which seems to be curled up in a little ball of run-on sentences and all CAPS while throwing in parentheses, hyphens and a RIDICULOUS amount of ellipses to validate whatever inane argument I may have that day.

So we are in agreement then? Wordless Wednesdays has a new participant. And Friday (though I don't have a fun name for it yet--I'm still working on a name for this lingering migraine...) will be the day when I select my favorite quotes, posts, pictures...anything that makes me laugh or cry or spew out angry obscenities...whatever, and compile them for you to do with what you will. My "meme" day (if both of you think it is a good idea and would be willing to share posts on that day) will be...maybe Monday? I can play on the alliteration again (which is always so much fun! Especially for my friends who LOVE the perkiness (because doesn't alliteration just SCREAM perky girl from Grease? What was her nam? YES! Patty Sincox (or something like that)! Alliteration is all Patty Sincox and A LOT of my blogging friends are...well...Rizzo, so the Alliteration may be too much for them. if I tell them they can cuss and complain and talk about whine wine, I'm sure they will do it.

Wow--I only have two days (unless I do weekends, which I usually don't do because as I'm sure I mentioned in http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/i-almost-got-divorced-last-month.html, my husband gets annoyed when he is home and I am on the computer. It used to be the phone, now it's the computer. I find it pretty funny, because it isn't like he wants to TALK to me, so what's the problem?! I KNOW that there are others of you who are going through the same thing, so THAT can be my first meme! What affect (if any) does the computer/television/telephone have on your marriage? YAY!) to come up with original posts when I was trying to write at least FIVE a week before all of this "planning!" That just gave me SO MUCH TIME!  It's like I created the "more time" that we all need in the day. I did that. ME. All by myself. I'm done now...

What time IS it?!

We have eleven clocks in our house. ELEVEN. This is a big deal because three of them are ridiculously large, five of them do not work and the remaining three display the wrong time. Now that I REALLY think about it, we technically have FOURTEEN clocks--one of them has (I think) four faces to show what time it is in like Tokyo and London or something. As if knowing what time it is in Pakistan will  somehow help us to be on time to our events here in the U.S.  Of course, those clocks are probably not set right either (why would they be, really?)  but we'll never know. We're talking about a person who was too lazy to LOOK UP to see what places are actually on the clocks before making up Tokyo, London, and Pakistan. I don't know if they are countries or cities and could solve this dilemma by actually LOOKING, but I think we all know that I'm NOT going to do THAT; do you really think I would go to the trouble of then LOOKING UP the time in each place and setting the clocks to match? Let's face it, we are lucky the clocks are even UP and not sitting in a corner leaning against a wall collecting dust. Don't get me WRONG--they are MOST CERTAINLY collecting dust--they are just doing it while decorating our walls.

The funny thing is (or should I say, "ANOTHER funny thing is..."?), there are THREE ENORMOUS clocks in our living room. Yes, THREE ENORMOUS (and, did I mention, BROKEN?!) clocks in ONE room, and we still never know what time it is. The one in front of me right now (That my husband bought for me as a housewarming gift when we bought our first home. It took up THE ENTIRE wall of our living room--I don't know if it is because it is THAT big or that our living room was THAT small! Probably a little of both!) is telling me that it's 6:22 in GIANT print when in actuality it is 3:57. I know this because I took the time to glance down at the lower left of my screen where it clearly reads 3:57 3:58. That was EXHAUSTING, but I will try to continue. I refuse to turn my head to see the enormous clock (my husband bought me THAT one when we built our second house--are you sensing a pattern?!) behind me (I'm still trying to rest from looking at the time on the computer. You understand.), but I seem to recall it reading 2:40 (or something similar) in GIANT Roman numerals. The clock in the corner is a beautiful Grandfather clock that my husband bought for me when I found out that I was pregnant with my son. IT reads 10:15, though there are not any number son it. LUCKILY, I REALLY paid attention when Mrs. Pollow/Held taught us how to tell time in the second grade. Too bad she didn't spend any time on how to SET clocks or how to FIX clocks and possibly even how to PUT BATTERIES in clocks. Maybe I missed that day. At any rate, our tardiness issue is NOT the result of not HAVING clocks--I think I've made THAT clear.

There used to be clocks on cable boxes. I found that to be QUITE helpful--even BEFORE I had a problem with broken and inaccurate clocks. It was just nice to be able to glance at the television and to see the welcoming glow of 8:37 looking back at me. NOW I look at any of the boxes around our house and I don't even UNDERSTAND what is on them. The one in our bedroom seems to constantly read 850 and I KNOW that isn't a channel we regularly watch. I also know that it isn't actually 8:50--EVER when I am in that room. EVER. Which in and of itself is a shame, since I am SO VERY TIRED. Perhaps going to bed at 8:50 would help that. Perhaps. And perhaps it would help us with our tardiness issue. Hmmmm...interesting.

The BEST is when people are over and they actually try to use our clocks as...well...CLOCKS...and they don't realize that the clocks aren't actually functioning. why WOULD they think that the clocks don't work? Who would really keep THAT many clocks on display when they don't even work?! I'll tell you who--WE would. You know, the people with the Christmas tree up in February (http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2012/01/if-it-was-good-enough-for-art.html) and a toaster in their driveway for days (http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2011/10/theres-toaster-oven-in-my-front-yard.html?showComment=1320855211050#c290250022404824285)--THAT'S who. And for the record, the Christmas tree IS still up, though Addison said Sunday night, "Ummm...GUYS...I syink dat you awewer going to hafta actoowally take down the Chwristmas twree some day!" which prompted ME to start doing it, but my husband said, "We CAN'T take it down--not NOW. The Christmas tree was up when the Giants won the playoffs, so it HAS to stay up so that they will win the Superbowl!" How can I argue with THAT reasoning? Now if we can only be sure to WATCH the Superbowl ON TIME! I think I'd better invest in some batteries...and maybe a ladder...